Creating a Ghost
by DaniDM
Summary: Marauders Era: It's midyear and a new student joins Hogwarts. Orphaned, in a new school and different from the others, can Alicia find solace with Severus and Remus? T rating for epilogue. 1 of 3. Story has been finalized. Please R & R.
1. And So It Begins

**A/N - Okay. I'm finished playing with it. I promise. If you notice any errors or inconsistencies, please let me know. **

**I'm going to work on **_**Life in the Interim **_**next, but that won't be until later this week when I have more time. In the mean time, I hope you enjoy the upgrade.**

**Dani**

**1– And so it begins**

I could begin with, "And so I was born," but in fact, my story began before that.

I was conceived in a blessed ritual, in the ancient stone circle of Callanish, on the Isle of Lewis, in the Outer Hebrides, on Samhain…Halloween; the night when the veil between the existing world and the spirit world is the thinnest. Magick is most powerful on this night, and those conceived, with blessings of the Goddess and God, are believed would possess great and unique power. From this point, my life was plotted for me. There are some things that we can control. There are other things that we must simply do. And then, there are things that we are destined to do. I would learn, in time, exactly what I was destined to do.

~~~***~~~

It's funny that some of my earliest recollections would be very dark, yet warm. I would hear a voice, a man's, old yet soothing. It would often tell me how special I was, how I would do great things, but I had to be strong. Sometimes, this man would play music for me or tell me stories, yet I couldn't respond with more than a flutter or a kick, but I think he knew that I heard and understood. I never actually met the man but would later find out that he was my grandfather.

My mother was Catherine, a teacher. My father was Enrico, an alchemist. Both worked for the Italian Ministry of Magic as did my grandmother on occasion, but we lived in the Muggle world, in a small village a few miles north of Crotone in southern Italy. Everyone there knew each other, or so they thought. My parents were polite but guarded, and I was raised to be respectful of others, but to "be careful for not everyone is like us". Our "talents" were kept secret, something difficult for a child to do, but I did it, having been impressed upon me how necessary it was.

I was home-schooled by my parents in the subtle art of witchcraft and was taught from a young age how to protect myself. For some reason, they insisted that it was important. I learned very quickly, and it pleased my parents that absorbed much more than most Wizard children my age. I, also, attended the local, public, Muggle primary school to learn how to "blend in", something else my parents felt was very important. It was the only place that I had friends, and I rather enjoyed being with children my own age.

My father often went away to work with my grandfather, which left my mother and I on our own. Sometimes, we would visit Grandmaman and Grandpa Thomas in Gavarnie in south-western France, but most of the time we stayed close to home. I liked visiting Grandmaman, but I didn't like when my father was away. When he returned, he would tell me stories, and through that I knew he was doing important work. My safety and the safety of others depended on it. But, it didn't make that separation any easier.

Sometimes, my father would be gone for days, weeks, or even months. Sometimes, my mother would go with him, leaving me in the care of my grandmother or a trusted friend. I was always left with the same good-byes; "Be safe", "Keep your eyes open", "Listen and learn", and "We love you". This time, this Yule season, they did not come home.

~~~***~~~

I was fifteen when I received a letter from a sorcery school far away: Hogwarts. The letter suggested that, because of my parents' death, it would be in my best interest to attend the school for the remainder of the year. I was not happy.

_Hmm_, I thought sarcastically. _January in southern Italy with my friends for support verses January in frozen Scotland with people I don't know. Tough decision, not. _

I almost refused; however, my grandmother and my parents' friend were in favour of my going. "It would be good for you to be somewhere else," they had said. "It's a wonderful school."

_How would they know?_ I groused to myself.

But, reluctantly, I went.

~~~***~~~

I had learned to fly a broom by the age of four, and my parents had taught me to Apparate two years ago, but for some reason, I was instructed to travel Muggle-style all the way from Italy to England. Something about a law restricting under-aged witches and the use of magic. I don't know. However, those that sent the letter insisted it was necessary. And, without the guidance of my parents, I was not permitted do it alone.

The rickety train from my village to Rome was pleasant. It bumped along the picturesque countryside and into the bustling city, and the flight from Rome to London was certainly an interesting experience. The massive airplane was congested, but the change in air pressure hurt my ears. From the crowded airport, I took a Muggle taxi to an old part of London.

_And, this was supposed to be safer than Apparating?_ I hmphed.

My parents' friend had given me directions to a place where I was to be met by yet another friend, and at the assigned street corner, an oddly dressed, older woman stood waiting. She appeared to be trying to blend into the Muggle world, but, in my opinion, didn't quite make it. A long, tartan skirt peeked out from under the draping, dark green cloak. Her dark brown hair was tightly pinned in a bun at the top of her head, and her bespectacled, brown eyes shone brightly. Tight, thin lips were forced into a weak smile as I approached.

"Come with me", she instructed quietly without introductions, turning sharply and walking away.

I almost didn't follow. All the cautions my parents had given me; "beware", "watch" and "be careful", and I was expected to blindly follow a stranger? But, there was something... intuition? Gut feeling, maybe? I didn't know, so I trailed along.

She led me to an old, rundown tavern down a dingy side street. The blackened sign on an outstretched rod above the heavy, wooden door read, _the Leaky Cauldron_, and as we entered, daylight streaked through the dusty air. Guiding me to the grimy fireplace on the far side of the room, she all but ignored the few patrons who watched from thick-timbered tables. Silently grabbing a handful of power from a cracked bowl on the large, stone mantel, she grasped me firmly by the elbow, and steered me into the fireplace.

"The Headmaster's office: Hogwarts," she commanded as she threw the powder into the flames.

The world spun and flashes of other fireplaces whizzed past my eyes. I had never travelled this way before, and I wasn't sure I liked it! Finally shooting out at my destination, I staggered, landing on my knees, coughing and sputtering, and rubbing my eyes to clean out the soot.

"Hello, Alicia. Welcome to Hogwarts," said a familiar voice. It was old and soothing. I'd heard it before, years ago, I think.

Looking up through soot-covered fingers, I gasped in bewilderment, "Grandfather?"

A rushing sound came from behind, and I scrambled out of the way as the older woman elegantly stepped from the Headmaster's fireplace and into the large, round room.

"Thank you for bringing Alicia safely to me, Minerva." The old man nodded with a genial smile. He had the longest grey hair that I had ever seen, and a beard equally as long. He wore a floor-length, sky blue brocade robe flecked with silver sparkles and trimmed with a white border. His blue eyes shone brightly through half-moon spectacles. He looked quite impressive.

Minerva nodded crisply in return and replied, "It's unfortunate that she had to be brought here under these circumstances. Poor child. Did you know her parents well?"

"Well enough," the old man replied simply. Then, turning his attention to me, he smiled again. I could feel warmth radiating from him that meant safe, secure, home.

"You've been through a great deal lately, but you'll be safe here," he began as he turned toward the fireplace keeping his back to me, his demeanour becoming distant. "Our school is sorted into four Houses, and for the remainder of the school year you will join one of these houses. They will be like your family. Your successes will earn House points, and points can be deducted for misdeeds. I will always be available should you need to talk, but you will also have a Head of House that you will be able to confide in. You have never been to a Wizard school before, have you? You were in a Muggle school, were you not?"

He turned to look at me, not waiting for my reply. Removing a battered, old hat from the top of a nearby shelf, he led me on a short stool, sat me down, and placed the hat gently on my head, almost hesitating.

I could feel the hat squirm as it hummed and hawed.

"Oh, my," I finally exclaimed. "Who do we have here? Such strength. Mmm, but much sadness. You have a seriousness about you to succeed. Resourceful. Slytherin would be good for you. Hmmm. You are certainly clever enough. But, there is much courage and spirit, too. Gryffindor, maybe?" It paused, squirming some more. "Hmmm. You are young yet you have achieved skills of those much older than you. Ravenclaw…yes… she has extraordinary potential. Advance her a year. She would not do well with those of her own age. She belongs with Ravenclaw," the hat finally announced.

"Advance a year?" Minerva sputtered. "Has that ever been done before? How do we explain that to the staff?"

"Quite simply," the Headmaster chuckled lightly "Just tell them that, "the Hat said so".


	2. Things I Must Know

**2 – Things I Must Know**

Minerva left us with a whirl of her cloak. She had agreed to inform Professor Flitwick, Head of Ravenclaw, that there would be a new student under his charge.

I looked around the cluttered office at all the odds and ends and curiosities, so many things. On a perch, near a spiral staircase, on the far side of the room, sat the most beautiful bird I'd ever seen. It had crimson and gold feathers, and it looked at me with shiny, black, knowing eyes, like it understood the turmoil that I was going through. I didn't know what to do, now that I was here, so I waited patiently for my grandfather to explain.

The Headmaster approached, his hand holding out a small paper bag.

"Sherbet Lemon, my dear?" The twinkle in his eyes was comforting.

"Thank you," I said as I took a candy and popped it into my mouth.

"Come, my dear, sit down. We have much to discuss and not much time before dinner. It's beef stew tonight, with dumplings." He grinned with anticipation. "I'm sure you must be hungry."

Steered me to a comfortable armchair by the desk, he bade me to sit. Then, he took the chair next to mine rather than sit behind his massive and untidy desk.

_Maybe he didn't think he could see me over the mess,_ I wondered.

"Yes," he said absently glancing over his shoulder at the desk. "I really must clean that up one day."

_Was he reading my mind?_ I thought, quizzically gazing at him, wondering if I needed to watch my thoughts.

"You must have many questions about who I am, what happened to your parents, and why you are here," he began.

Those weren't questions; they were statements, like everything could be explained as if it were the weather. I just sat there staring at him, wondering what to say.

"You were right. I am your grandfather. How did you know?" he continued, leaning back into the cushion and steepling his fingers at his lips.

"I recognized your voice," I replied simply with a shrug.

His bushy, grey eyebrows rose in surprise. "My voice? The only time I have ever spoken to you was when you were in your mother's womb. Hardly something one would remember."

"You used to talk to me, tell me stories. Sometimes you would play music. I know your voice." What else could I say? I knew it sounded strange, but I knew instinctively that I was right.

Silently he gazed over the top of his half-rim glasses, examining me closely.

"How did my parents die?" I asked a simple, straightforward question expecting a simple, straightforward answer.

"It's a long story," he sighed quietly.

Okay, that wasn't what I wanted to hear. I waited, hoping there would be more. The old man looked distant as if trying to put into words what he wanted to say.

"Your mother was my only daughter," he began. "She married your father with my blessing. He was a wonderful man, but we knew that my involvement with a former student from here, Tom Riddle, would one day come back to, shall we say, haunt me." He paused and looked away. When he looked back, there was determination in his eyes.

"Your father had been helping me devise ways and counter measures to stop Riddle's influence over people. I never thought I would call anyone truly evil, but this man is manipulative and demanding and gets what he wants through coercion and threat." The old man became agitated. "Riddle is gathering followers and is becoming more powerful every day. He discovered your father's lab here in England, and he and your mother were attacked one evening. We never saw it coming." There was another pause as my grandfather looked away again.

"Did they feel anything?" It was a childish question, but I needed to know.

"I seriously doubt it. The attack was quick. I don't think they even knew what hit them."

"Why didn't you ever visit?" I asked another childish question.

"You are special, Alicia. I knew that you would have talents beyond your years, talents that are considered…unique, just like your mother and grandmother. If it were known that you were connected to me, Riddle would seek you out. He would have done one of two things; coerce you into following his lead or kill you. I couldn't let either of those happen, and your parents agreed with me."

"Whose idea was it for me to have a different name from my parents?" This was an interesting point, and one that had bothered me for years. My mother's name was Catherine Marceilla Dumbledore. My father was Enrico Venici Salvatorini. I'm Alicia Elizabett Lacosa. Why was I named differently?

"This was simply another ruse to fool Mr. Riddle. If he could not track you by name, it was merely another way to keep you safe. Your first and last names are ancient Etruscan, your father's idea. They mean, "to live for the cause". Rather appropriate, considering. Your middle name was your grandmother's name." There was a pause before he continued; "I am afraid I must insist that you not refer to me as "Grandfather". We have kept you protected all these years, and it would not do to expose you now. You are here and exist for a purpose, and that purpose will be known in time, but for now, I must direct you to your House."

The abrupt change in topic startled me.

"Professor Flitwick, our Charms teacher, is the Head of Ravenclaw. Your House rules are posted on the bulletin board in the Common Room. I'll have your schedule by dinner and will pass it to Professor Flitwick. He will present it to you. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask him."

I could tell that this conversation was over as the Headmaster rose and began to walk across the room.

"I was expecting you," he stated as he led me to the door. "And, as we speak, house-elves are placing your belongings, a uniform, and your school supplies in your room. I did not foresee the Hat advancing you a year, so I will request that your teachers supply you with the proper books until we can purchase appropriate ones. Good evening, my dear." He tipped his head in dismissal. "I will see you at dinner."

As abruptly as I had arrived, I was rapidly being sent away. Feeling completely lost, I took a deep breath and left the office, not entirely sure where I was going. My legs, however, started to move, and before I knew it, I had climbed moving staircases, traversed ancient corridors, and found myself having to climb a spiralling flight of steps to a door with no handle and no keyhole.

"What grows down as it grows up?" the large brass eagle on the door asked.

"Excuse me?" I answered in bewilderment.


	3. Getting To Know You

**3 – Getting to Know You**

"It's quite simple. Just answer the question. _What grows down as it grows up_?" the knocker repeated.

"You can't be serious?" I stared at the blank, wooden door.

"Quite serious. Ravenclaw prides itself on its ability to think critically. Answer the question, and you gain admittance." The door remained closed.

Silently, I stood at the top of the stairs not knowing what to do. _Do I just stand here and wait? Do I go back to the Headmaster's office?_ Just as I was about to turn, a thought struck me.

"A goose!" I replied proudly. "Its mature undercoat is called down."

"Very good." The knocker praised, and as the door swung open a group of serious looking boys and girls filed out nearly knocking me over on their way to dinner. Their looks of surprise and disdain as they passed made me very aware that I was still soot-covered and grimy. And, as we stood staring at each other, an older-looking girl with long blond hair approached, gazing arrogantly down her sharp nose.

"Who are you, and why are standing at our door?" she asked huffily.

"My name is Alicia," I introduced myself in heavily Italian-accented English. "I just arrived and was sorted into Ravenclaw by the Headmaster. He said that my things would be waiting for me in my room."

The girl's demeanour suddenly changed, and she smiled, flipping her long, fair hair over her shoulder, and becoming overly friendly.

"I'm Alexandra," she announced holding out her hand in greeting. "I'm a Prefect for Ravenclaw. I'll show you to your room," she volunteered, and then turned to a group of students standing nearby and instructed, "Save us a seat. We'll be down soon."

Leading the way through the door and into Ravenclaw Tower, she battered me with questions. "Where are you from? I don't recognize the accent. Are you French? When did you arrive? Have you seen your schedule yet? Do you have a favourite subject? We all have study schedules; we'll have to set you up with one. If you have questions, just ask. Professor Flitwick is our Head of House. He's really nice, teaches Charms…" She chattered on, not giving me a chance to answer any of her queries_. _

Finally losing patience, I sighed to myself_, Oh, please stop talking?_ And, as we passed through the brightly lit Common Room and climbed the stairs on the opposite side, I suddenly noticed how oddly quiet it now was.

Arriving at the tower dorm room, I observed that it was a fairly large circular chamber with smooth stone walls. There were five, identical, four-poster beds bedecked with dark blue velvet curtains. The end of each bed sported a trunk, and five wooden desks stood against the wall to the left of each bed. A small, wood-burning stove stood in the centre of the room, giving off a very pleasant heat, staving off the bitter January cold. It was obvious that I would have four roommates, something that I never had experienced before.

"You'll be over there, by the bathroom." Alexandra pointed to a vacant bed. "I'll wait for you to get cleaned up, and then we'll go down to dinner."

As I grabbed my uniform and toiletry bag, the Ravenclaw Prefect sat on the edge of the bed and silently waited.

In the bathroom, I nearly fainted when I saw my reflection in the mirror. No wonder the other students had stared. What a horrible first impression! Running hot water into the sink, I lathered up and scrubbed the soot from my hands and face, trying to make myself as presentable as possible. Staring into the mirror at the slightly tanned face, denim blue eyes staring back, I sighed deeply.

"Well, here you are. Like it or not. Better make the best of it."

Taking a brush to my pin-straight, sandy coloured hair, I pulled the long, thick strands into a low ponytail. Once in my new uniform, I joined Alexandra, and she escorted me to dinner.

~~~***~~~

The Great Hall was a massive dining area with four long tables laden with food and surrounded by loud, chattering students. By looking at the banners, I could tell that each table was set aside for each House, and as we passed, Alexandra waved to some students and gave a brief commentary on others.

"Hufflepuffs. Sweet dunderheads, she whispered as we passed a table with a yellow and black banner. "Hello, Amy. How are you tonight?" Alexandra arrogantly waved to a dim-looking Hufflepuff. "Gryffindors. Beware of those four," she said as she passed the crimson and gold banner, pointing to four boys who were laughing and pointing at another table. "They think they're something special. Call themselves "the Marauders". That one," she pointed to a quiet looking boy with light brown hair, "he's not bad. Really quiet. A Prefect, too. That's Remus. The one with the glasses is James. He's a spectacular Seeker on their Quidditch team, but you didn't hear that from me. Our team's good too, but he's incredible. The small one is Peter. He's more of a follower, not too bright. But him, the dark-haired one, that's Sirius Black. Pain in the bloody arse and thinks he's Merlin's gift to the girls. I'd watch him if I were you. The red-haired girl is Lily. She's really nice and is James' girl… kind of… I think. Well, the poor bloke keeps trying anyway."

As we moved past the table, Sirius flashed a winning smile and elbowed the others. They all looked our way as we moved on.

"Slytherins…" Alexandra quietly exclaimed as we approached the next table bearing a green and silver banner. "Nasty of the nasty. Tricky lot. Very clever but have a mean streak like you've never seen."

I guess I won't tell her that the Hat wanted to put me in Slytherin first. As we passed the table, a solitary, black- haired boy looked up from his meal. His hair was disgustingly stingy and over his face. _Push back your hair, boy; you'll get it in your food! _ With that, his hand absently pushed a few lanky strands from his eyes. A puzzled look passed over his face as our eyes meet, and I twitched a small smile at him. He quickly looked back down at his meal, frowning.

"That's Snape. Really quiet. Really smart. Really foul. Not a nice person at all," Alexandra commented. "And, here we are, Ravenclaw. Your home sweet home." She waved to several students along the table and found us two empty seats. Before we sat, Alexandra announced, "This is Alicia, everybody. She's from…" with a pause, she looked sideways at me, a bit embarrased, realizing that she hadn't taken the time to ask.

"Italy," I finished. "I arrived this afternoon."

There was a chorus of welcomes from the others, and as we sat, conversations began to flow around us.

As the meal wound down and the hall began to empty, a tiny teacher with a brush, white beard and moustache and a floppy, pointed hat trotted up the hall between the Slytherin and Ravenclaw tables. He had a piece of parchment in his hand, and a big smile on his face.

"You must be Alicia," he squeaked as he shook my hand vigorously. "I'm Professor Flitwick. Oh, you have been quite the talk at the High Table tonight," he gushed. "Minerva, um, Professor McGonagall, was in quite a titter about what the Hat did. Never in all my years here has it made such a decision. Oh, my! Welcome to Hogwarts. I have your schedule. Here you go." He handed me the parchment. "I'm sure your Housemates will help you sort things out and help you find your classes. Good luck, dear." And, he trotted off as quickly as he arrived, as much in a "titter" as Professor McGonagall must have been in.

"What was that all about?" Alexandra curiously asked. "What did the Hat do?"

I shrugged indifferently, gazing as the sheet of parchment in my hand. "It advanced me a year," I quietly replied, not wanting to look up, aware of the sudden silence and gaping looks that I was receiving. "What?" I asked when I finally raised my head.

"How old are you?" she suspiciously narrowed her eyes.

"Fifteen," I seriously replied.

"And, you're in what year?" she tried to keep her astonishment hidden.

"It appears that I will be taking sixth-year Charms, Transfiguration, Potions, Defence Against the Dark Arts, History of Magic, Herbology, Arithmancy and Astronomy." I was still looking at my schedule trying to ignore to stares. I didn't see what the fuss was about.


	4. School Days

**4 – School Days**

The first few days of class weren't too bad. Charms, Transfiguration and History of Magic were with the Gryffindors. Potions, Herbology and Defence Against the Dark Arts were with the Slytherins, and Arithmancy and Astronomy were with the Hufflepuffs, so I pretty much got to meet everyone in my year.

Alexandra had been right. The Marauders were pains in the backsides. Sirius was anything but his name. He couldn't take anything seriously and loved being the centre of attention. James was okay, if a little arrogant. He seemed very smart and could manage to keep himself under control…sometimes. Peter reminded me of a little weasel. He was small, not too bright, and, I don't know, whiny, I guess you'd call it. He was always simpering after the others as a dog would if looking for scraps. I liked Remus the best. He was quiet and studious and kept very much to himself, almost shy.

About a week after my arrival, in Transfiguration class, we were learning how to turn a rat into a water goblet. I couldn't understand why. Who would want to drink out of that? It would make more sense to turn the rat into a horse. That would be more practical, but apparently we wouldn't be doing animal-to-animal transfigurations until next year. Darn, I always wanted a pony. _Gggrrr, and if Sirius doesn't stop shooting spitballs into my hair, I'm going to turn __him__ into a rat!_ I angrily turned to glare at the offending creature only to find a black, scruffy, little rat with a straw dangling from its mouth, staring up at me.

"Who did that?" barked a startled Professor McGonagall as she ran to where Sirius the Rat scrambled about the desktop. "I want to know now! We don't do this to each other!"

No one claimed responsibility, and the whole class was given a two-foot parchment to write on the "Responsible Use of Animal Transfiguration and Their Consequences", due next class. We were dismissed early so that Sirius could be returned to his natural state. Hmm, and here I thought he was in his natural state, the rat! Well, I guess that was just my opinion.

As we filed out of class, I heard James trying to convince Lily to join him in the Astronomy Tower that evening. Peter scurried along behind them until James rudely brushed him off.

Remus silently sauntered up behind me. "Sorry about your hair," he said as he picked several wads of paper from it. "He's just trying to get your attention, with you being the new girl and all."

"I don't want his attention," I replied as I looked up into his light grey eyes. Staring for a moment and then shaking myself back to reality, I stated, "I'm going to the library to get to work on this paper. Might as well get a head start."

Still a bit uneasy about being in a new school, I wasn't about to admit that I thought changing Sirius into a rat was my fault, and I wasn't about to invite company to join me in the library. Remembering another one of my parents' warnings, "Don't let people get too close", I sighed at the loss of companionship. I really could use a friend, and he _was_ cute.

By lunchtime, news of Sirius had spread through most of the school, and by afternoon, it was all the teachers could do to settle the students down to work. Well, Sirius was definitely the centre of attention now and loving every minute of it.

~~~***~~~

Potions was one of my favourite subjects. Ever since I was able to sit on a laboratory stool, I had worked alongside my father on some of his less critical works. He had always believed in practical experience, and felt that I had great potential. But, then again, he was my father and was somewhat biased. My mother would often find the two of us hunched over some concoction that we were creating, and would simply roll her eyes and walk away with a smile. She was such a patient woman.

Professor Slughorn seemed to be a competent teacher and quite interesting, although somewhat simplistic, definitely not like my father. I could tell that he had favourites, and Alex had told me about his "Slug Club": a group of select students that he chose to "guide to greatness", and then would ride the coattails of that greatness, reaping the rewards and recognition that came with it. I wasn't sure I liked that part. It made me not trust him.

Today looked like an easy day. We were to create a simple Strengthening Potion; instructions on page 185 of the text. Retrieving the ingredients from the store cupboard, I began to work methodically, each ingredient being chopped, sliced and ground to perfection. The cauldron temperature was accurate, and I was among the first to begin adding the ingredients.

Re-reading the instructions, it read "stir constantly in a clock-wise direction". I stirred slowly, my mind beginning to drift around the room taking in the other students. The Ravenclaws were seriously focused on their task, reading and re-reading the instruction. While the Slytherins slyly looked over at each other's cauldrons, comparing the colour, consistency or texture of their potion with that of their neighbour's. Curiously enough, only one did not, Snape. He worked diligently on his own, ignoring those around him, his hair, as usual, curtaining his face. Still, I could see the concentration, the way he hunched over his cauldron, the deftness of his fingers as he sliced the ingredients. Suddenly, he looked up as if sensing someone watching, and our eyes met. Then, he shifted in his place to shield his cauldron from my view. Maybe he thought I was trying to cheat. Dismissing the thought, my mind drifted back to my task, stir clock-wise…this doesn't look right. It's the right colour, but it doesn't look…no…it doesn't _feel_ right. By stirring in the same direction, I was creating a vortex in the centre. All the energy would funnel down through the vortex and not be evenly dispersed through the potion thus weakening it, not strengthening it. Think. I stopped stirring for a second, and the potion slowly stopped swirling. Stir one, two… at seven, the vortex began…counter-clockwise, one, two… the vortex stopped. Clock-wise again, one, two…

"Miss Lacosa, what do you think you are doing?" Professor Slughorn's voice carried over the silence of the class. "The instructions clearly read "clock-wise". Do you think you know more than the author of this text, whom was once a brilliant student of mine, still keeps in touch, too…" The professor drifted for a moment. "Five points from Ravenclaw, Miss Lacosa, for not following the instructions. Although, this does look interesting." He paused to examine my potion, humming and hawing, and then, turned to the class. "Please bottle and label your creations and put them on my desk. Once you have cleaned up, you may leave." The Potions professor kept studying me as I carefully bottled my mixture and handed it in.

Several Ravenclaws were not pleased by the loss of the points and voiced their displeasure on the way out of class.

"Sorry," I mumbled as they passed. Still, I had a feeling that I was right. I would have to research that later.

Snape watched as I left and walked three paces behind me on my way toward Greenhouse Six.

_Was he following me?_ I slowed my pace and rounded on him. "What's your problem?" I confronted.

He backed up a step, his face pale and angry.

"You copied me," he hissed. "I don't like being copied."

"I didn't copy you. You had your back to me. Stirring clock-wise all the time didn't make sense. It created a vortex, and it didn't… feel…right." I paused, looking up through that curtain of hair into ebony eyes. "Did you get the same feeling?" I asked more gently.

Snape said nothing, just glared at me, and then, without a word, stalked off.

I shook my head and headed for my next class. Boys!


	5. Roommates

**5 - Roommates**

Oh, glorious Saturday morning! I've been at Hogwarts for a bit over three weeks and have established a very comfortable routine. I enjoy my classes, and the professors are wonderful. I talk with my grandfather at least once a week as he likes to keep up with how I'm doing and has asked some very strange questions about my abilities. The library is amazing, and I spend as much time there as I can. And, my roommates, for the most part, are great.

Nena and Julie are very friendly and outgoing, and they're the sort that know when it's time to play and when it's time to work: a great combination, and one I like very much. They've chosen to include me whenever I wish to be included which is nice, because I often prefer to do things on my own, but it's great to know that can join in if I want to. Then, there's Josee. She's nice in her own way, but far too serious. In the time that I've been here, I've yet to see her smile. She's not mean or anything, I just don't think she knows how to have fun. And, then there's Trish. Mother always told me that if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything. Well…Trish is…uummm…well, she's…Trish. Oh, sorry Mum, but here it comes. The girl has no concept of personal space! It's all hers. She gives off far too much uncontrolled energy, and I have no idea how she made it into Ravenclaw! She's not so much arrogant as she is vain. Everyone has to know what she's doing, with whom, what she has bought and how much it cost… oh, please, I wish she'd give it a rest.

As I lay here in the quiet early morning, curtained off from the rest of the room, I begin to hear the stirrings of my roommates waking. If I don't get moving soon, I'll…arrgg! What's she doing up so early? She never wakes before nine on a Saturday! Now, I'll never get into the bathroom! I learned, during my first week, to rise early enough to get to the bathroom first (or second if it's Nena or Julie), because once Trish is in there, you've got at least an hour's wait.

Sighing deeply. I resigned myself to the wait, staring up at the dark blue canopy, watching the sunbeams dance across the material.

"She beat you to it, did she?" I heard Nena chuckle softly from the bed next to mine.

"Yeah," I answered, studying the light.

"Might as well go back to sleep for a bit. You know it will be a while."

"No," I sighed again, pulling the curtain back from the head of the bed, exposing only the pillow area. Nena did the same.

Nena was almost completely buried by her blankets. All I could see were her big brown eyes, perky nose, and impish grin, not one auburn strand of long hair to be seen. It was as if the face was disembodied.

"Why not?" she inquired mischievously. "Thinking about last night?" Her grin grew wider.

"What about last night?" I asked, my brow furrowing curiously.

"You know. Last night. The library. Remus," she hinted with an obvious wag of her brows.

"What are you talking about?" I really had no idea.

"Oh, come on!" She grinned throwing back her blanket. "When you came back from the stacks you were as red as Rudolph's nose."

"Are you Muggle-born? How would you know about Rudolph's nose?" I grinned back.

"Don't change the subject," Julie commanded as she whipped the curtains back and bounced onto Nena's bed, almost sending the small girl flying. She stretched out beside her friend, pink flannel, two-piece pyjamas contrasting with her short, spiky, chestnut hair. The bunny slippers made me laugh as the big ears flopped with each bounce. "How can you not notice when a boy follows you around?"

"Wasn't he adorable? The way he kept glancing sideways at her like that." Nena untangled herself from the covers.

"And, the way James had to keep nudging him to pay attention to his work."

"Who would have thought? Remus is sooo cute. Don't you just love those eyes? And, James wasn't even trying to get Lily's attention. He kept poking at Remus. Did you see?"

"Yeah."

"I wonder where Sirius was, though?"

"Who cares, with a Hufflepuff, no doubt."

Their chatter flowed around me as I began thinking back to the night before. Many of us had spent the evening in the library working on our History of Magic essay. Professor Binns had set an interesting topic: How Muggles Identified and Exorcised Witches During 1400 England. Having lived in the Muggle world, I could often see their point of view. If ignorance is bliss, Muggles must be very happy indeed. I was researching some of the more gruesome trials and needed to cross-reference one in particular. There were several students milling amongst the stacks, making the area a bit crowded, and the book that I needed, _Witch Trials of the Gardenian Court: 1425-1450_, was on a shelf just out of my reach. I propped my left foot on the first shelf up from the floor and boosted myself to stretch up. The librarian would have had a fit if she had seen me, and just as I had the tome within my fingertips, someone on the other side stumbled into the shelf, shaking it. I lost my footing and slipped…right into the waiting hands of one Remus Lupin. Being that the space between the stacks was narrow, as I fell, his arms wrapped around my body as my back fell against his chest. Now, this was cosy. He was about a head taller than me and smelled nice, like soap and fresh-cut wood. We stayed like that for a few seconds, not knowing what to do, until a first-year poked his head around the corner to apologize. We broke apart quickly. I stuttered a "thank you", he stuttered a "don't mention it", and we went our separate ways. I never did get the book I wanted.

"Hello…Earth to Alicia…" I heard through the haze.

"Leave her. She's got that dazed look on her face. I think she's remembering."

I flushed Rudolph-red again, and Nena and Julie laughed themselves silly. Finally, I joined their laughter and explained what had happened.

"Now, I'll have to go back to the library to get that book."

"Maybe you'll "bump" into him again," Nena cajoled.

I smiled at the thought. Maybe next time, I'll actually have something witty to say.

~~~***~~~

The library wasn't as productive as I would have liked: Remus didn't show up, therefore, I was forced to focus solely on the essay at hand.

I returned to the stacks to retrieve the required book, which was still out of reach. As there was hardly anyone in the library this sunny mid-afternoon, I decided to retrieve it my way; something I was uncomfortable doing with others around. My hand reached up, my mind focused, _"Ricevo il libro", _and the book gently floated into my waiting hand.

Returning to my seat by the window, I completed said essay and began packing up my supplies. Leaning back against the chair, I stared out at the fluffy, white clouds. It was so rare to have such a bright day in January. _Thank you, Sun God_. I enjoyed a moment of peace as I contemplated the rest of the weekend. Closing my eyes and letting my mind drift, I sensed only energy around me, and I breathed deeply, allowing that energy in. My thoughts turned to light grey eyes and tousled sandy hair, and the corners of my mouth twitched into a slight smile.

"Am I interrupting?" a voice entered the fringe of my hearing.

"No," _you could never interrupt_, I thought dreamily.

"Can I join you?" He sounded hesitant, nervous.

I opened one eye, still smiling. "Sure," I gestured to a chair opposite mine.

"You looked far away. What were you thinking of?" he quietly asked.

_You_…I wanted to say. "Nothing really. Just resting," I answered as I closed my eyes again.

"Did you finish Binns' essay?" Remus asked, fishing for something to say.

"Just now. Have you?" I shifted to get a better look at him.

"Not yet. That's why I'm here." He leaned back into the chair, looking like he'd rather be somewhere else.

"It's getting late. I should let you get to it then." I gathered my things and got up to leave.

"Um, I don't really have to do it right now. I'd …aaa…much rather talk to you. Would you like to go for a walk with me? Maybe around the lake?"

I looked out the window again. The sun was still fairly high. "Sure. I need to get my cloak."

I sounded so calm, and yet my heart is pounding out of my body.

"I'll meet you at the entrance in a few minutes." He gave me a lop-sided smile and looked up from under the brown fringe of hair.

I practically ran all the way back to Ravenclaw Tower for my coat.

~~~***~~~

"Get your stuff on your own side!" I could hear the yelling as I approached the dorm.

"Don't touch that! It cost a fortune. More than you could ever afford!"

"Then, take care of it if it's so bloody expensive!"

"There are such things as Silencing Charms you know," I flatly stated as I walked into a room that looked like a tornado had hit it.

Clothes and books were everywhere and amongst the mess, a very putout Trish and a very fiery Nena were facing off, nose to nose. I could feel the static in the air, and it made my skin itch.

"She got into your stuff, too!" An indignant Nena informed me through gritted teeth.

"I needed a scarf. I was looking for the perfect match for my sweater. Someone around here must have taste. I knew not to look in your stuff," Trish rounded on Nena.

If I didn't do something to stop this now, this was going to come to blows.

"You went into my things?" I asked incredulously. "Haven't you every heard of personal space? Privacy? Asking first?"

"You weren't here, and Sirius is waiting."

No…Sirius? Did I hear right? Nena and I looked at each other with wide eyes and burst out laughing. Trish and Sirius? Julie's got to hear this one. I went to my trunk and pulled out a scarf.

"It's not the right colour," Trish huffed.

"What colour do you want it to be?" I asked patiently, giggles having subsided.

"Pink and blue, to match this sweater," she pouted pointing to what she was wearing.

I concentrated on the scarf in my hand, and it turned into the perfect match.

"It's called Transfiguration, girls," I sighed. "I believe we take that course." I handed Trish the scarf, grabbed my cloak, and walked out of the room. Remus was waiting.

"She didn't use her wand," Nena thought out loud as I left.


	6. Friends and Other Creatures

**6 – Friends and Other Creatures**

The walk was incredible. Remus and I bundled up against the cold, for although it was sunny outside, the wind around the lake was bitter. As we walked, we talked about all sorts of things; Remus' earlier years at Hogwarts, my schooling in Italy, various students and teachers and what they were all like (he assured me that Sirius wasn't _that_ bad), and our families. He, along with most others, didn't know why I had transferred schools mid-year and was saddened to hear about my parents' death. We walked in silence for a while. His company was comfortable and easy. We laughed at silly things and made arrangements to do some homework together in the next week.

It was beginning to get dark as we headed back along the path, and the giant squid lazily raised a tentacle out of the icy water as if to say "good-bye". But, it startled me instead. As I jumped, my foot caught a patch of ice, and I began to slip down the slope to the water's edge. Remus' reflexes were quick, and before I hit the ground, he grabbed the back of my cloak, pulling me up. Clutching onto him, trying to get my footing, he held on tight, his arms wrapped around me, and I could feel his strength through his coat. When my feet were finally, firmly planted on the path, I looked up, rather embarrassed, but he didn't let go. A warm feeling rushed through me as I looked into his soft grey eyes, and we just stared at each other, holding on. _Oh Gods, just kiss me_. Soft lips brushed mine in a tender and shy kiss. Neither of us wanted to break contact, and I kissed back, tasting his lower lip and feeling his warmth. Suddenly, he took a step back, clearing his throat with embarrassment. Taking my mittened hand in his, we walked back toward the castle in silence.

~~~***~~~

"As the products of Herbology are often used in Potions, Professor Dillyweed and I have come to an agreement. We are going to combine our lessons over the next few weeks, so that what you learn in Herbology can be transferred here, and vice versa." Professor Slughorn rocked back and forth from heels to toes, grinning at the class. "As you all have Herbology next, and we have double Potions tomorrow, you will create a base potion today. Professor Dillyweed will teach you how to cut and prepare the ingredients needed, and we will use them in tomorrow's potion." The stout Professor paused and looked around the class, still rocking. "The base potion instructions are on the board. Copy them first and then begin. Miss Lacosa, may I see you for a moment?"

Obediently, I left my parchment, quill and ink ready on my desk and walked to the front of the class.

Professor Slughorn turned and sat in a heavy leather chair, placing his hands flat out, palms down, on the desk in front of him. I stood across from him, waiting.

"There is something I need to ask you," he began, examining at his fingers, "That first week in class, when you stirred the potion in the opposite direction, what made you do that?" He looked up to meet my eyes.

_That was weeks ago. Why bring it up now?_ I thought. "The method didn't feel right," I answered simply. "The vortex created by stirring clockwise, without changing direction, would have pulled the energy through the centre rather than dispersing it through the potion."

"Hmm, and you thought of this on your own?" He raised a curious brow at me.

"Yes, Sir."

"You seem to have a knack for potions. This incident was the first that caught my attention, but you have proven, repeatedly, that you are quite competent at the subject." He leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers under his chin. "I understand that your father was an alchemist. Did you ever assist him?"

"Yes, on occasion," I answered.

"I also understand that your mother was an Herbologist. This portion of the class should come naturally to you. Is it true that you are only fifteen years old?" His brown eyes searched mine for answers.

"Yes," I nodded.

"Incredible." He paused, obviously thinking. "I have a group of students who meet occasionally. We discuss a variety of subjects. I am well connected, you know, and have the ability to "help" people with their futures. We will be meeting tonight in my office, and I would like you to join us."

The Slug Club. He's inviting me to the Slug Club!

"Umm, that's very thoughtful of you, Sir, but I'm afraid I must decline. I appreciate the thought, but I'm not really much of a social person, especially with all that's happened." That's it, play up the orphan bit. It's either that or run screaming from the room!

"No? Hmm, shame. Well, if you should change your mind, you will be most welcome. We'll be meeting at seven thirty sharp." He paused and called out again, "Mr. Snape, come here, please."

Snape turned the heat down on his cauldron, glided to the front of the class, and stood to my left.

"Mr. Snape, you and Miss Lacosa seem to have come to the same conclusion on several of your potions works, starting with your vortex theory." Snape glared at me. "Since the Strengthening Potion, that both of you created, were the strongest in the class and you seem inclined to independent thought, I have chosen a few potions for you to experiment with. I would like to see what sorts of "improvements" the two of you can make on them. Consider it an extracurricular assignment for bonus credit. You will be working together. Examine your schedules and arrange a time slot when both of you are available. A couple of evenings a week should be good."

I groaned inwardly. A couple of evenings a week? I didn't really want extra credit, and Snape wasn't exactly the most pleasant person on earth.

"Yes, Sir," we replied, both showing our reluctance.

"Come, come! This should be a stimulating exercise! Two great minds, working together. I'm anxious to see what you come up with." Professor Slughorn was fairly bouncing in his seat.

Snape and I looked at each other, and I twitched a smile at him. "I have to start my base, then I'll get my schedule out… or we can look at them in Herbology."

"Whatever," was Snape's only reply as he returned to his seat and simmering cauldron.

~~~***~~~

Nena sat curled up on her bed. She appeared to be reading when I walked in.

"Library again?" she asked, not looking up.

"Yes," I replied as I put my books down on the desk.

"With Remus?" she asked with a mischievous grin, her eyes shifting to look at me without raising her head.

"Yes," I answered, returning the grin.

"That's the second time this week. Is it serious?" She put the book on her lap.

"No," I sighed feigning dejection as I began putting my books away. "It's Remus, and you know it!"

"Ha, ha. You know what I mean. Kissed him yet?"

"Kissed who yet? What did I miss?" Julie bounded into the room and dumped her books unceremoniously onto her bed.

"I was asking if Alicia had kissed Remus yet."

"Well?" asked an anxious Julie, bouncing onto the bed beside Nena.

"Yes, but nothing …serious." I giggled as Nena choked on her laugh.

Julie was puzzled, "What did I miss? Oh, serious…Sirius. I get it." She shook her head at us and sauntered off to the bathroom, rolling her eyes.

Nena became thoughtful and asked, "I need to know something. Feel free to tell me to bugger off if you don't want to answer, but it's been on my mind."

I stopped clearing my things away and turned to look at her.

"How long have you been able to do wandless magic?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I've always been able to," I replied, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Not many can, and magic like that requires a lot of energy. Most adults can do a bit, but you're the first kid I know who can," she rambled on in an excited and curious tone.

I didn't say anything. I knew the gift was unique for someone my age, and I had tried to keep it a secret.

"Trish didn't seem to notice, and I don't want this getting out. Can you keep it to yourself?" I asked hoping she could.

"Of course I can, but why? It's a great gift."

"I don't want to stand out. Please, just keep it to yourself," I implored.

"Keep what to yourself?" Julie rejoined the conversation as she returned to the room.

Now, I was stuck. I didn't want to lie. Conflicted, I replied, "I did something for Trish, and I don't want it to get out. She'll hang it over my head, and I'll never hear the end of it."

Satisfied, Julie shrugged and let it go.

"Thanks," I mouthed silently to Nena.

She just smiled and nodded at me.

~~~***~~~

Snape and I were able to work out the kinks in our schedules and came up with two evenings a week and Saturday mornings, as we both admitted to being early risers. Our first few sessions together were rather tense. Professor Slughorn had presented us with the first task; a Concentration Potion, and we spent the first evening going over the procedure in written form, and then looking at the ingredients individually. We might as well have been working independently, because Snape didn't talk unless he absolutely had to, and when he did, it was a sharp remark. There was a definite feeling of tension between us.

On this particular Saturday morning, we began brewing the base Concentration Potion. It was simple enough. As I sliced the fairy wings, Snape ground the wormwood. The liquid base was gently bubbling in the silver cauldron, but as I added the fairy wings, the potion began to spark and sputter.

"What have you done?" snarled Snape as he jumped toward the cauldron, sending his stool flying.

"I've added the fairy wings. It shouldn't have done that," I sputtered, abruptly stepping back.

"You must have done something else," he accused. "The potion is ruined before we even got it started. So much for "brilliance". Bloody incompetent," he muttered, barely audible, but I heard anyway.

"I didn't deserve that, you arrogant boob, and I'm tired of your sniping at me. I've been nothing but polite to you, and this is the way I get treated? You could have done something to the base. You were the last one to stir it. Have you ever considered that we may work better if we actually communicate? We need to talk to each other to avoid mishaps, and stop this bloody competition! I'm not your enemy!" I took a deep breath and said no more. My jaw and resolve were firm. Truth be told, I liked working with him. He was as confident and comfortable in a lab as I was, but I couldn't let him know that, not yet.

Snape glared at me from behind his curtain of hair. He was breathing heavily. I took a step closer and reached my hand up to push his hair back, wanting to see his eyes. He flinched but didn't retreat. Suddenly, I felt my heart soften; no wonder he's always sullen. If he flinches from a kind gesture, how has he been treated in the past? And then, I realized that his hair curtain was his hiding place, his security.

He flipped his head away from my hand, righted his stool, and returned his attention to the cauldron.

The rest of the morning was spent trying to figure out what went wrong, reluctantly but together.


	7. Special Events

**7 – Special Events**

It had been a difficult week, and the miserable February weather had a negative effect on everyone's mood. However, at dinner on Sunday, Headmaster Dumbledore announced that there would be a Valentine's Dance the following weekend. The general mood, from then on, was an excited one. The girls became giggly and started planning their dresses, hoping certain boys would invite them, while some of the boys got into the spirit by making their "favourite" girls more obvious to everyone. House points were rapidly deducted from those more daring to openly kiss in the hallways.

I kept my usual routine; classes, homework in the library with or without Remus, Tuesdays and Thursdays in the lab with Snape, exploring the castle and grounds with Nena and Julie.

On Wednesday, Remus and I usually studied together, but this week he didn't show up, and he didn't send a note. When I entered the library and headed for our customary seat by the window, Sirius was sitting there instead. I began to detour to another table.

"He's not going to show tonight," Sirius stated, catching my attention.

"Is he all right?" I asked, not wanting to sound too concerned.

"He's fine. He's just got something else to do." He scrutinized me with a lecherous glint in his eye.

"Oh," I tried not to sound too disappointed. "Thanks for letting me know. If you'll excuse me, I have work to do."

"He's not going to take you to the dance either," Sirius called as I began walking away.

I stopped, feeling my heart thud in my chest.

"I didn't expect him to," I said. _I only hoped he would_, I thought sadly to myself.

"You could go with me instead." A charming grin crept over Sirius' face.

"I don't think so. Aren't you seeing Trish?" I tipped my head sideways to examine him more closely. He seemed to be up to something, and I had been warned about him already.

He casually leaned back in the chair and studied the nails on his right hand. Lazily, he drawled, "No, it didn't work out. So, I'm all yours. All you have to do is say "yes"."

"No. Thank you for asking, though. Maybe, if you're lucky, I'll save you a dance." I turned to continue to the next table.

"Cheeky. I like that," his grin widened, intrigued with the challenge.

"You would," I snorted lightly over my shoulder.

Remus looked drawn and anxious on Thursday, and when I tried to speak with him, he said very little. On Friday, he wasn't in class at all. I was concerned that he might be ill.

~~~***~~~

Being raised in the Old Religion, I was taught to worship the Sabbats and respect the cycles of the moon. This Friday, February 13th, as the full moon began to rise, I found my way up to the Astronomy Tower. I had been taught to worship in solitary contemplation, and that suited me fine. My beliefs were private; part of who I am. But, it was hard to find a quiet place to worship in a school with so many students.

A small altar was prepared on a flat stone in the centre of the room, and I took deep, cleansing breaths of the crisp night air. Slipping the woollen cloak from my shoulders, I cast a wide circle. My light, white shift was not enough to keep me warm as I welcomed the Guardians and invoked the Goddess and God, so a Warming Spell was cast on the area, and sat to meditate on the events of the week. In the distance, I heard a howl and bark. I opened myself to the healing powers as my heart still ached for Remus. I wondered what was wrong, and if he was all right. I breathed deeply again.

As I began to drift, I could feel the energies surrounding me, and could feel that I was not alone. Looking around, the moonlight cast shadows, but I saw nothing. But, something _was_ there. I could feel it. I focused again.

_Show yourself._

A shadowy figure emerged from a dark corner on the far side of the tower: slowly, silently…Snape.

"How long have you been there?" I demanded, the candles casting an eerie glow on the stone walls.

"I was here before you came up, since dinner," he replied sullenly, his left hand rising to brush the limp strands of hair from his face.

"Why didn't you show yourself sooner?" My anger was beginning to show, and an eerie red glow began to form around me.

"Why didn't you look before you cast your circle?" he snapped back.

"I did. I didn't see you. Why were you hiding in the shadows?" Now, I didn't know whether to be annoyed or embarrassed, and the glow began to fade.

"I wasn't hiding," he said defensively. "I was thinking."

"You still didn't answer. Why you didn't show yourself? You saw what I was doing."

"You're Wicca. I didn't want to disturb you."

Hmm, that was thoughtful or curious?

Suddenly feeling very self-conscious in what little I was wearing, I released the circle and reached for my cloak. Shivering, I struggled to get the material wrapped around me, but the elusive left side kept slipping out of reach, and just as I was about to give up, I felt it slowly inch over my shoulder.

"Thank you," I breathed as Snape's long fingers pushed the cloak to my neck.

"You're …welcome… and… I… apologize. I didn't know how to…." He let the thought drift and started to slide back against the wall.

"No, don't go. What were you thinking about?" I suddenly asked, reaching out slightly.

He didn't answer.

"Would you stay and talk with me?" Merlin! What made me say that?

He stood, half in the shadow, staring at me with those stygian eyes, candlelight flickering in their depths. "Why?"

"Why not?" Oh, for Circe sake girl, open wider and put the other foot in!

He leaned against the wall and slid to a sitting position, his knees close to his chest and arms wrapped around them. His eyes were so intense, his countenance so serious.

_Take a deep breath and relax. I'm not going to hurt you._

He slowly took a breath inward and released it, his eyes never leaving mine.

I sat in front of him on the cold floor of the tower, and the conversation began very slowly with my initiating it; questions about Hogwarts, potions, experiments that we were working on, nothing too personal. I kept it light. Eventually, I felt him relax, and the exchange became easier. It was nice.

"Are you going to the dance tomorrow?" I asked.

His mood suddenly changed. "No." His reply was sharp, and he looked away. "It's a stupid waste of time."

"What's so stupid about it? Granted, I don't like loud music, but it could be fun," I encouraged.

"I doubt it," he groused, still diverting his eyes.

"I'll dance with you if you come." I tried to entice him.

"I don't dance."

"Don't know how or don't like to?" No reply. Okay, drop subject. "It's getting late. We're going to break curfew if we don't leave soon."

He gracefully rose to his feet and offered me his hand, pulling me up. His hand felt warm in mine, and it had been a nice evening. Another howl in the distance reached the tower as we left.

~~~***~~~

The music was loud, the decorations garish, and the hormone level was incredibly high.

Sirius was right. Remus didn't show up to the dance. I hoped he was all right.

Sirius was making his rounds with the available girls and even with a few that weren't available. I had to give him credit. He was very smooth and a great dancer. My roommates all had dates, but I had decided to go alone. That way I could slip out when I wanted to.

Nena and Julie regularly pulled me onto the dance floor, and several single boys asked me to dance, but my heart simply wasn't into it. I hung out by the punch bowl for a while until I heard a familiar voice.

"Told you, you should have come with me." Sirius sauntered up beside me grabbing a cup off the table.

"You seem to be doing fine without me." I smiled sweetly at him.

"Cheeky. I said it before, I like that." His hand slipped around my shoulder, and he tried to steer me toward the dance floor. I resisted, but he implored, "Just one. What could it hurt?"

"Fine. One dance." I relented and allowed him to lead me to where the others were gyrating.

As we reached the floor, as if on cue, the music changed to a slow beat. His hands wrapped around my waist, and I was pulled a bit too close for my liking. As we moved, his fingers began to slide down my spine and once they reached my backside, I had to physically replace them higher up. This became a game, and I began to get annoyed. That lecherous grin was back.

"So, why isn't Remus here?" I hoped to let him know where my interest lay.

"Hmm, not feeling well. Should be okay in a day or so." Sirius started putting his head on my shoulder, nuzzling my ear. I tried to pull away, but he kept me in a solid grip.

_That's enough. Let me go_. With that, his hands dropped to his side, and I was able to walk away, leaving him standing alone with a stunned look on his face.

The night was crisp, and a quick exit to the gardens was just the ticket to cool me down.

Unfortunately, Sirius followed me out.

"What just happened?" he fumed, grabbing my shoulder and spinning me around to face him..

"What do you mean?" I replied innocently, shrugging him off.

"You know what I mean…on the dance floor…what did you do?" he demanded stepping uncomfortably close.

"What did _I_ do?" my voice was shrill with anger. "Keep your hands where they belong, and I wouldn't have to _do_ anything!" I faced him, my hands on my hips, our noses barely inches apart.

"I know where they belong." Sirius boldly grabbed my shoulders, forcing a kiss. I tried to pull back, but his grip was strong.

_Back off_. He broke his grasp and took a step back.

"There. See. It happened again." His eyes flashed in anger.

"What? You coming to your senses?" I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

"No! I didn't want to stop. It was as if you did something." He took another step toward me, ready to pounce again.

"No. Stop. Get it though your head. I don't want you. Go away."

He kept coming.

"I believe she doesn't want your attentions, Black." A saving voice came from the darkened garden.

"Snivellus. Come to party have you? I don't know why you bother. Nobody in their right mind would want to dance with you," Sirius sneered.

"She said, "Go away", Black. Her meaning was quite clear," Snape replied calmly.

Sirius looked me in the eye, and I stared back at him.

_Go back inside. I don't want you here._

Sirius faced Snape, nose to nose, then abruptly turned on his heel and stalked back into the Great Hall.

"Thank you," I replied as Snape's gaze followed Sirius through the door until he was out of sight. But, he continued to stare blankly into the distance, and I couldn't tell what was going through his mind; frustration, anger? "I'd like to dance with you," I invited.

"I don't need your pity," he snapped, drawing his attention back to the moment.

"You don't have it. I told you last night that I'd dance with you if you came tonight, and here you are, and here I am…dance with me." I held out my hands for him to take.

"We can't hear the music." He was looking for an excuse.

The doors from the Great Hall to the garden were closed, but with a wave of my hand, _"Apro",_ they opened a crack, and we could hear the soft sounds of a gentle waltz float out. I raised my hands to him again.

"Wandless magic, and an Italian command?" He quirked an eyebrow at me, apparently impressed.

"Well, I am Italian, and how do you do that eyebrow thing?" I asked.

"You're changing the subject," he noted.

"Yes, I am," I assured with a grin.

He took my hands, and we stepped closer together. His right hand tentatively wrapped around my waist while his left pulled my hand to his chest. My free hand drew up to push that now familiar curtain out of his face.

"I like your eyes. I'd like to see them." I smiled softly and allowed my hand to rest on his shoulder. "I'd also like to stop calling you "Snape", but I don't know your given name. Somehow, I don't think it's what Sirius called you."

"No, it isn't," he said nervously, glancing toward the hall. "It's Severus."

"Okay, Severus. Would you call me Alicia?"

His eyes bored into mine, his fingers wrapped tighter, and I could feel his breath grow short, like he was beginning to panic. "I'd like that," was all he uttered as we began to rock to the music.

We didn't notice the haunting set of eyes watching us from the darkened garden path.


	8. Life Goes On

**8 – Life Goes On**

The days and weeks that followed the Valentine's Dance were mundane, to say the least. Remus looked drawn and tired. He apologized for being distant but said no more. I could tell that something was bothering him. Maybe he was keeping something from me. _Why should that bother me?_ I scolded myself. _It's not like he's my boyfriend or anything. Merlin, he hasn't even kissed me since the first walk around the lake!_ It was very frustrating!

~~~***~~~

On the Hogsmeade Saturday in March, Nena, Julie and I managed to drag Josee into the ancient village. Surely Honeydukes could make this girl smile. We joked and threw snowballs at each other the whole way. Well, at least three of us did. Josee always kept her distance.

As we approached the outskirts of town, we witnessed the "Marauders" in all their practical joke glory, setting what looked like firecrackers off at various business doorways. Sirius was in the lead, followed by James, Peter and Remus, who was pulling up the rear. We stood and watched for a moment.

"If they weren't so adorable, they could get into so much trouble," Nena was the first to comment with a sigh.

"Somehow, I don't think old Mr. Bridgewater at the Apothecary would find those boys "adorable", " Josee groused, the first real thing she'd said all day.

"True," I added, "I wouldn't find it funny if one of those went off in front of me."

"Oh, come on," Julie pushed us forward, impatiently. "I'm hungry. Let's get to Honeydukes before they run out of Ice Mice. I want some Pull Your Teeth Out toffee. It's so good!" She was practically running down the street to the shop.

_How could a girl so thin eat so many sweets?_ I wondered.

Right outside the bookshop, a loud bang erupted, and several students scurried away from the blast. As we passed the scene, Remus caught my eye. He looked at me and rolled his eyes toward the other boys, grinning sheepishly.

"Come on, Remus," cried Sirius as he ran down the street. "We're not done yet!"

Remus shrugged at me and ran after his friend.

"What was that about?" Josee asked

"Nothing," I replied gazing after the boys.

"Isn't he your boyfriend or something?" she questioned.

"No, he's just a friend." I sighed turning back to the girls.

"Well, you spend a lot of time together for just being friends," she observed.

"We like each other, but it's never gone further. Can we drop it?" I replied wanting to change the subject.

Josee shrugged, and we moved into Honeydukes. Julie was right. The Pull Your Teeth Out toffee was great, but my teeth were stuck together for about an hour afterwards. They all had a good laugh at that, even Josee. Chalk one up to my discomfort. Josee actually smiled!

The rest of the afternoon was spent in the bookshop and visiting the Shrieking Shack.

"It's supposed to be haunted or something," Josee cringed as we approached the old, rundown building. The March wind blew through the decrepit shutters, making a groaning sound, and we, collectively, shivered.

"I heard that a man murdered his wife and children in there, and what you hear is their screams and cries as it happened." Julie's eyes were wide with excitement.

"What an awful thought," I squirmed. "I wonder what really happened."

"There are enough stories going around about this place to last several lifetimes. I bet Hogwarts kids will still be talking about it in another twenty years," Josee stated in a matter-of-fact tone as we stood against the old, wooden fence surrounding the structure.

I shivered, not from the cold but from a feeling that I was getting from the building. Something was happening at that house, but it wasn't a murder from long ago. I couldn't put my finger on it, but the hair on the back of my neck prickled.

"I'm going to head back to school. I have something I need to check on," I anounced as I began to trek back to the castle, leaving my friends discussing all sorts of possible gruesome acts.

~~~***~~~

Back at the castle, in our dorm, a note was waiting for me on my desk.

_Miss Lacosa,_

_I would like to see you in my office at your convenience, preferably today._

_Sincerely,_

Albus Dumbledore

_Headmaster_

I wondered why he wanted to see me. Carefully placing my purchases on my desk, I began to head out the door. At the last minute, I grabbed three bags from the pile. Well, he did say, "at your convenience". I suppose it wouldn't hurt to make one stop first.

As I wove my way through the corridors, battling a very uncooperative staircase and several overly sugared third years, I found my way to the dungeons. Although it was a long shot, I wondered if Severus would still be there.

Slowly, I opened the lab door and peered in.

"Somehow I thought you might be here," I quietly exclaimed, not wanting to startle him.

"This potion isn't going to brew itself," he replied flatly, measuring an ingredient into a beaker.

"I brought you something," I said pushing the heavy oak door open and slipping in.

"Why?" He looked up from the workbench after placing the beaker over a low flame.

"No reason. I saw it and thought of you. Here." I handed him the smallest bag.

He tentatively took it and peered inside. It contained one jawbreaker-sized green candy. He looked at me with a weary expression.

"Go on. Give it a try," I encouraged with a mischievous smile.

He popped the candy into his mouth, and I waited. Within seconds his face contorted, his eyes watered, and he spat it out.

"Uggg, what was that?? This reminded you of me?" I could see the anger well up inside him. Oh dear! This wasn't going as planned.

"It's called a Sour Puss. I thought it was funny." My smile was rapidly dropping as I was beginning to regret my actions.

"Funny! At my expense. After I worked here all day so you could go off with your friends. Thanks a lot," he angrily snorted. If steam could actually come out of his ears, I think it would have.

"I'm sorry," I apologized profusely, strangely feeling his hurt and anger. It was that deep. "I didn't think you'd react that way. I wasn't making fun of you…well, maybe just a little. You _can _be pretty intense sometimes. Oh, come on." I handed him a second package. "This is for you, too." He frowned at me, unwilling to take the proffered parcel. "Come on. This one you'll like. I'm sure of it," I encouraged sweetly.

Hesitantly, he reached out and took it. As he looked inside, I tried to read his expression, but it was closed.

"Why would you get me this?" His voice seemed to catch in his throat.

"Like I said, I saw it and thought of you. I thought you'd like it. I appreciate that you continued the work. You could have come to Hogsmeade, too, but you didn't."

Severus took a deep breath and pulled a black and silver bound notebook from the bag.

"I figured you could write down all those changes and spells and such that I see you scribbling at. Use this instead of the margin of your textbook," I suggested.

He took another deep breath and looked away. Now, I could feel his discomfort. What else could I possibly do wrong today? I felt horrible.

"I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable. I just thought you'd like it." With that, I turned and left the room. The Headmaster was waiting. What I didn't see was Severus examine the book carefully and clutch it to his chest.

~~~***~~~

I stood at the entrance of the Headmaster's office trying to figure out why I had been summoned. "Coconut Mallows," I commanded, stifling a giggle that always rose when I heard the Headmaster's choice of passwords. He had such an unhealthy passion for Muggle sweets. The ornately carved door opened, and the stone griffon guarding the stairs moved aside for me to proceed, and the stairs rotated to lead me to the office quickly. As I was about to knock on the inner door, it opened for me to enter.

"Good afternoon, Alicia," said a voice from somewhere behind a stack of papers on the large, oak desk. It was as cluttered now, as it was when I first saw it a couple of months ago.

"Good afternoon, Sir," I replied from the doorway.

"Please, come in, sit down. Tea?" he invited as he came around the desk.

"Thank you." I sat in a large chintz armchair by the fire, waiting. I didn't think this was strictly a social call as it wasn't our scheduled time.

Tea arrived by house-elf, and the Headmaster poured for both of us.

"Did you enjoy yourself in Hogsmeade today?" he asked genially.

"Yes, thank you," I replied. "Oh, I brought you something. I hope you like it."

I handed him the last of the bags that I was carrying. He took it graciously and peered inside. A delighted smile appeared on his wizened face, making him look like a little boy.

"Thank you very much." He pulled out a bag of colourful Coconut Mallows.

"Interesting how your new password was these," I giggled as he examined the package.

He placed the candy on an end table at his elbow and quickly came to business.

"You are curious as to why I called you here," he stated.

"Yes," I answered matching his tone.

"Easter will be upon us soon," he began. "And, as you have no family, except for me, I have arranged for you to stay at the school for the holiday."

What? I wanted to go home! I was looking forward to going back to Italy and seeing my friends! My surprise and disappointment was obvious.

"I wish you had asked me first," I cried, my distress clearly showing. "I really wanted to go home."

"Some day, my dear, you will be able to go home, but for now you have much to learn. I have arranged to give you private lessons over the break. You have exhibited some very interesting skills that you must learn to control and direct." He sat back in his chair and sipped his tea. "I have spoken with your teachers. They are most impressed. Professor Flitwick says that your mastery of Charms is extraordinary. Professor McGonagall is impressed as well…and I must say, she is difficult to impress. Professor Slughorn trumpets your successes and is quite disappointed that you didn't join his little club." At this, Dumbledore looked over his glasses with a merry twinkle in his eyes and a mischievous smile on his lips.

"I didn't want that kind of attention." I looked straight into those deep, blue eyes and smiled back.

"Good," he continued. "Professor Dillyweed says that you have been able to identify and suggest uses for a variety of plants that even she didn't think of uses for. Your parents' influence, I'm sure. And, according to Professor Draxon, your reflexes are remarkable, and you have found some very… creative… ways of defending yourself."

"My parents felt that it was important for me to learn a variety of defences against the Dark Arts. I didn't mean to throw Professor Draxon against the wall like that. It just, sort of happened."

"Exactly, dear, you must learn to control and direct these abilities." There was a pause. "How did Mr. Black turn into a rat?"

"I'm not sure." The Persian rug suddenly looked very interesting.

"Really? Think," he pressed.

_Did I really want to admit this?_ I sighed. "He was throwing spit balls into my hair. I just wanted him to stop. We were turning rats into water goblets, and I thought that was silly. When I thought of turning Sirius into a rat, it, just, sort of happened."

"Again, it sort of happened." Dumbledore repeated my words, and I sighed again. "Have there been other instances?" he asked. Somehow, I think he already knew.

"Yes, but only small things," I said looking up.

"Like?"

"Like thinking that someone should be quiet for a while, and then they are, or thinking that someone should do something, and then they do. Nothing harmful. I would never want anyone to get hurt."

"No. I'm not accusing you of that, but this skill must be controlled as in the wrong hands or used the wrong way someone could get hurt. This gift is old magick and very much like the Imperius Curse, only it cannot be traced by magical authorities the way wand magic can."

The Imperius Curse? Untraceable? Was he serious?

He continued, "Your parents told me that you are capable of wandless magic and that you already have the ability to Apparate. Is this true?"

"Yes." What else could I say?

"Could you show me?"

"What do you want me to do?"

"Get me the blue and bronze book from the top shelf of that bookcase." He pointed to the case on the far wall by the stained glass window.

That was easy enough. I closed my eyes, reached out my hand and focused: _"Ricevo il libro"._ The book slowly floated into my hand. I opened my eyes and handed him the book.

"Very good," he said putting it on the end table next to the bag of candy.

"Hmm, my tea has gone cold. Could you heat it up?" He smiled as he held out his cup in my direction.

I placed my hand across the top, closed my eyes, and focused again. _"Caldo"._

"Thank you, my dear." He took a sip. "Perfect." He put the cup on the table as well. "Can you change the colour of my robes to green?"

Again, I focused, placed my hand on his robes, and closed my eyes. _"Verde"._ The colour changed to a rich, forest green.

"Very nice, thank you. Do you mind if I wear this to dinner?" He smiled, joyfully examining his robe. I nodded, and he looked at me thoughtfully. "Must you always close your eyes?" he asked.

"Not always, but I find it helps to block out distractions."

"Have you heard of Occlumency?"

"Yes, but I've never tried it. Dad wouldn't let Mum teach it to me. He said that it would mess up my empathic abilities."

"He is right, but you would benefit from learning the basics at least, and then be able to use the skill when needed. It would enable you to use your other gifts without having to close your eyes, and therefore enable you to see what is going on around you, thus another means of staying safe."

"But, wouldn't I have to block out all positive emotion?"

"Not necessarily. You would learn to control emotion. There's a difference."

I wasn't sure. I didn't like the concept behind Occlumency. I'd heard stories that if it was used too much or too often, your emotions would be repressed. I liked being able to feel.

"Don't worry, dear. You don't need to make any decisions now. We'll have plenty of time over the holiday."


	9. Lessons Learned

**9- Lessons Learned **

Most of the holiday was spent with my grandfather. We explored all of my skills from basic wand spells and wandless magic to empathic abilities and elemental magic. He was very patient as he taught me self-control and better focus. There were a few times when I pitied the man. He was the subject of many of my "trials", and sometimes ended up on the wrong end of things, like the day I turned his beard bright pink and couldn't change it back; although, he did seem to enjoy it. Or, the day I asked the Goddess for strength, made his office shake, and broke one of the ancient devices on his desk. Or, my personal favourite, the day I made his philodendron grow to the point that Fawkes had to fly to the top of the stairs to be avoid the strangling vine. My favourite skill, however, was the ability to channel and direct minor forms of Elemental energy. My mum and my grandmother had been like that, too, and it was something that I'd always been able to do, but couldn't control very well. Controlling it was a powerful feeling.

We, also, began lessons in Occlumency, and I was right, I didn't like the feeling very much. It was a cold, empty feeling, but I had to concede, I was able to focus my energies better with its use.

We began work on wordless magic, as well. It was a lot like the suggestive, or as he had called it before, Imperius magic, that I had been unwittingly doing, and it was a lot of fun. If no one could hear the spell coming, they wouldn't know what hit them. I practiced on the few students left in the school over the holiday…and on a few teachers.

Our evenings were often spent discussing topics varying from historical witches and wizards and their contributions to the Wizard world to Ministry politics and why the Ministry of Magic does not approve the use of Elemental and Ancient magicks. It seemed that they are more afraid of what they didn't understand and were quite unwilling to accept that people like me, although few in number, do exist. It was interesting to discover that I would be prejudiced against, by some, even in my own world.

Through the time spent with my grandfather, I began to understand my role, my destiny, if you will. I must accept the power that I'd been granted and learn to use it wisely. Many of my skills, if used properly, would be undetectable and untraceable, even from modern magic. In time, with further training, I would be my grandfather's secret weapon against Riddle.

~~~***~~~

As April ended, students returned from the holidays, and the castle filled with noise once again. I realized that my crush on Remus was going nowhere. He obviously wasn't interested in anything other than being friends, as he never made an advance toward me. As we studied together in the library, I would often see his eyes drift in Lily's direction. I thought that he might have a crush on her, but it appeared that James had finally won her over. Remus and I still talked and went for walks, but he seemed afraid of getting too

close. Come to think of it, with the exception of James and Sirius, Remus didn't let many people get close. I wondered why?

On one particular walk, the first Sunday after returning from holiday, Remus and I took the path toward Hogsmeade. In the distance, we could see the Shrieking Shack looking ramshackle on the hill. I was reminded of the conversation with my roommates during the Hogsmeade weekend in March.

"You've been here longer than me," I stated. "What do you think of that old building over there? I've heard a few stories, but no one seems to know much."

"I've heard stories, too, but I don't think anyone knows the truth." Remus shied away from the rickety structure. "Want to go into town?" He tried to steer me down another path.

"I don't think we're allowed," I started to say, but he was already several feet ahead of me. "Remus, slow down. What's the problem?"

"Nothing. I thought you might like to go into town." He was changing the subject, trying to redirect my attention.

"Is there something about that old house? You're nervous. Did something happen there?" I pressed, feeling the tension.

"Nothing," he snapped. "Do you want to go or not!" He turned to glare at me.

"Not, I think." I tried to look him in the eyes, but he diverted them from me. "What's wrong?" I asked tenderly as I raised my hand to his face, but he jerked away, not letting me touch him. "Fine. I'm going back to the castle." And, with that, I trudged up the path, not looking back. If I had, I would have seen the tear roll down Remus' pale cheek as he stared at the old house.

~~~***~~~

About a week into May, Professor Dillyweed caught me in the hallway on my way to the Headmaster's office. She had an arrival of some very interesting foreign plants and wanted to know if any of them would be useful in the latest experiment that Severus and I were working on. I went to take a look and found two possibilities, then excitedly left Greenhouse Six to find Severus.

He wasn't in the lab, and he wasn't in the library. I couldn't go into the Slytherin Common Room, so I hung around the hall for a while hoping to catch either him coming out or going in or even building enough courage to ask someone going in to get him. Neither approach worked, and I left my post by the statue of a very sneaky looking wizard and wandered back toward the Headmaster's office. I had borrowed some books over the holiday and needed to return them. As I approached, I saw Severus leave the office, and the voice of the Headmaster followed him.

"Well done, Severus. You are well suited for this. You have my full support, and I am very grateful for your work."

The Headmaster appeared behind Severus as they came into the hallway. Both saw me and froze, if only for a second.

"Good afternoon, Miss Lacosa." The Headmaster nodded formally toward me, a rather serious look on his face.

"Good afternoon, Sir. Mr. Snape," I replied, acknowledging both of them. "I've come to return your books, Sir. They were a great help, and I enjoyed reading them."

I handed the books to the Headmaster, and Severus caught the title on top. " _Powers of the Earth_. Was it good?"

"Very informative," I answered with a grin.

"Do you two have plans for the rest of the day?" Professor Dumbledore asked innocently, eyeing our interaction.

"Actually, I was looking for you," I turned to Severus. "Professor Dillyweed received a shipment of exotic plants that she thinks may be of use in our Headache Potion experiment. I've taken a look and want your opinion."

Severus inclined his head ever so slightly in acknowledgment.

"I'll leave you to it then. My, but you do work well together. I must inform Professor Slughorn that he has chosen a most successful partnership." With that, he returned to his office and shut the door.

"How much did you hear?" Severus asked suspiciously as we started down the hall.

"Enough to know not to ask questions. If I was meant to hear, I would have been included from the start. If you or the Headmaster want me to know, then you'll tell me."

We walked in silence the rest of the way.

~~~***~~~

Severus and I decided to try the Feverfew leaves and Butterbur pods in the Headache experiment. We were not only trying to make the potion more effective and longer lasting, but we also wanted it to taste better. Willowbark, a key component in this potion, was a very bitter substance and left a horrible aftertaste in your mouth. The minty Feverfew leaves took the edge off the bitterness but needed to dry for a few days. The Butterbur pods, taken from the base of the rhubarb-like plant, were going to be tried at different stages: fresh, semi-dry and dry, as there were few documented research cases on this plant. We weren't certain of the effectiveness of the Butterbur, but it had a slightly sweet taste in the fresh stage, although a very unpleasant smell. Neither ingredient was common for a headache potion, but both contained soothing properties.

On the day that we were going to test the fresh Butterbur pods, Severus arrived to find me already in the lab with the ingredients laid out. I spread my hands over the display to indicate that he may inspect my work. I smiled as he approached and looked over the preparations as a Staff Sergeant would look over his troops.

"Adequate?" I asked with mockingly wide-eyed innocence.

"Adequate," he replied with a quirk of his lips. We played this game often. One of these days, I'd love to see him really smile.

Extracting the juice from the pea-sized, yellow pods was tedious work. Severus sliced the pod from pointed tip to bulbous bottom, and passed it to me. I would, then, squeeze the greenish-yellow juice from the pod into a vial. I was lucky if I got three drops per pod. It was going to be a long morning.

From his spot at the workbench, he handed me a particularly large pod, about the size of a chickpea, and as I squeezed the slippery object, the juice squirted in the wrong direction and onto my face. I jumped as the sting shot through my eyes. Rubbing, I couldn't relieve the pain, and my eyes began to water. I heard a stool abruptly scrape against the stone floor to my right, and Severus was at my side with a wet cloth, trying to wash out the juice, but it wasn't working. Oh Gods, this hurt! I could feel myself being led away from the workbench and roughly being bent over a cold surface. Severus had led me to the stone sink by the wall and was splashing my face with cool water. Finally, my eyes began to open, but everything was blurry. He handed me a rough towel and backed away. I pressed the towel to my face and turned to the wall. Placing my forehead against the cool stones, silent tears began to flow. I felt an uncertain hand on my back as my shoulders shook. Turning to find him standing close, I leaned into his chest and cried. Slowly, uncertainly, he wrapped his arms around me until I was done.

"I hate crying," I choked. "I end up looking terrible."

"I have to agree," he replied with a twitch of a smile on his lips.

I punched him gently in the chest and smirked sheepishly.

"Oh, you wounded me!" he joked, clutching his chest and stumbling backward. I smiled and punched at him again. He gently took hold of my wrist and examined my face. His smile changed into a deeper, more thoughtful expression as he stepped close again. Releasing my wrist, he brushed a few wet tendrils away from the tear tracks. A long finger tentatively traced a line down one streak on my cheek as he took a slow breath, leaned forward, and kissed the tear away. My eyes closed. He barely lifted his head as he moved to kiss the other cheek. My head tipped back, and I could feel myself melt into him, my arms gradually wrapping around his body to pull him close. I wanted to feel him against me. His arms enveloped me again, and his lips met mine with a slow, sweet kiss that warmed my soul. The kiss lingered. It felt so good, and as we pulled apart, we looked at each other with quiet surprise. Did that really happen? He smiled a smile that reached his eyes and touched my heart.

"I knew it," echoed a voice from the doorway. Remus went pale as he turned abruptly and left the lab.


	10. Lessons Taught

**10 – Lessons Taught**

"Alright! Spill it!"

"What's going on?"

"Sirius is in an uproar!"

"You should hear what he's saying"

"Honey, it's not good."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

The questions and comments burst into the room in a flurry known as Nena and Julie.

I raised my head from the book on my lap, not that I was reading anyway. I couldn't keep my mind on task these days. My stunned and puzzled expression seemed to stop only one of them. Nena sat on the edge of my bed while Julie paced the length between the fireplace and the door.

"You never told us about Snape. According to Sirius, Remus is crushed. Snape, Alicia? It's Snape?" She paced in a rant, hands flapping in the air.

"We're your friends. You could have told us. Did he hurt you? Did he…you know…force you?" Nena beseeched.

I didn't know what to say. I hadn't heard anything. Remus had, pointedly, avoided me for the past few days. He was running hot and cold, and I had no idea how to deal with him, so I avoided him back. I spent most of my time in the lab or the library. Now, Sirius was involved, which, of course, meant that James and Peter were, too. I sighed and put the book on the bed. Leaning my head back against the pillows, I examined the dark canopy.

"No, he didn't "force" me," I sighed. "What does Remus care anyway?" I brought my head back up. "He had plenty of time and opportunity to make a move and never did. He kissed me once in January and hasn't had the nerve to even hold my hand since! So, I don't know what he's so upset about, and what business is it of Sirius' anyway?"

"You mean you actually _let_ Snape kiss you? Eeewwww!" spat Julie from across the room. "How could you?"

"Once you get past that prickly exterior, he's nice…deep, but nice. He's very focused on his work, and, believe it or not, has a kind of cool sense of humour. I like being with him. We work really well together."

"And, the kiss…what about the kiss?" Julie demanded.

"I got an ingredient splashed in my eyes. I couldn't see, and he washed it out. One thing led to another, and …well… he kissed me," I explained.

"So, he did take advantage!" Nena accused.

"NO! Get it through your heads! He kissed me. I kissed him back, and truth be told, if the opportunity arose again, I'd do it again. It felt so…right. He has such soft lips…" I began to drift.

"Oh, please. I really don't want to hear this. This is Snape we're talking about." Julie pretended to gag.

"Yes, and Severus is a person, believe it or not, with feelings. He gets hurt and angry and embarrassed just like anyone else, but no one ever takes the time to do anything but pick on him, and he fights back the only way he knows how. I like him, and you can accept that or not, I really don't care!" I angrily tried to get up, but Nena put her hand on my leg to stop me.

"I'm sorry, Alic, but well, we've known him longer, and he can be really nasty. We're just looking out for you."

"Thanks, but I'm not blind. When I see him being nasty, I look at the situation. He's usually responding to something that's happened to him. When I see him in the lab or doing research, he's a different person."

"Remus never made a move on you?" Julie finally calmed from near the bathroom.

"Only that once in January. I think I've given him plenty of time. After all, it's nearly June. I really liked Remus, but he would never let me get close, and, lately, every time we're together, he's looking at Lily. And, the last walk we went on he nearly took my head off. I don't know what his problem is, but I've given up waiting. I didn't expect to feel this way, but I really like Severus, and I think he likes me, too."

"Well, I can honestly say, I don't get it, but it's your choice. Just be careful," Nena advised as she rose from the bed.

"I'm just going to ride the wave and see where it goes. If he kisses me again, then, he kisses me again. If he doesn't…I'll banish myself to a convent for the rest of my life!" I finished with a giggle and a dramatic swoon back onto the bed.

~~~***~~~

I finally caved in and tried to talk to Remus several times over the next two weeks, but it was hard when his friends wouldn't let me get near him. Eventually, I gave up.

Severus was on the receiving end of some nasty gossip as well. There was even a hexing match in the halls one afternoon between Sirius, James and Severus, two against one. Professor McGonagall broke it up with points deducted from both Houses and detentions for all involved. Later in the week, there was some kind of incident involving the gang of them the night of the full moon. I'm not sure what happened, but Severus was horribly shaken, and James was angry with Sirius. Remus avoided everyone for days, and no one was telling the story.

The bad feeling got worse by the end of the second week, and Severus was in his foulest mood yet when we worked in the lab on Thursday night. The third trial of the Headache Potion was in its final stages and just needed to be watched for a while. It didn't really require both of us, but I wanted to be with him, if, for nothing else, to show my support, that I was on his side. It was a quiet night. Professor Slughorn came in to take a look at one point, and then sauntered off to the staff lounge muttering about how brilliant he was to put us together.

"It doesn't take two of us to watch a cauldron," Severus snapped as I moved toward the workbench. "Why don't you leave? Go read a book or something."

"Finished them all," I replied casually as I came up beside him.

He was staring into the low flame of the burner, scowling.

I gently placed my hand on the centre of his back. "You can't will it to be finished. It'll be done when it's done. Why don't we call it a night?"

"Why are you nice to me? Ever since we met, you've been nice. Why?" he quietly asked, still staring at the flame, his brow furrowed.

"I always give people a chance before I make a judgement. There's something about you that I like. I had a gut feeling." My hand ran up and down his back slowly as I stepped behind him, beginning to massage his shoulders as he sat rigidly on the stool. He was one big knot. "There is enough harshness in this world. Why add to it?" I continued.

His head began to droop forward. "Mmmmm. Sometimes it can't be helped."

"And, sometimes it can." My hands gently traced his spine and spread over his back muscles, working out the tension.

"The world is not a kind place. Take it from me. Sometimes you have to fight to survive." He began to slump.

"Survival is a different story. Life and death, yes, but cruelty for the pleasure of being cruel has no place with me." I continued the rub.

"Sometimes, it's a necessity."

"I disagree."

"You'd better stop what you're doing." He was now leaning onto his elbows on the workbench

"Why? Are you alright?" I asked, a bit concerned, my hands still on his back.

"I'm more than alright. I'm falling asleep."

I smiled and stopped rubbing, then leaned forward to turn off the burner. The potion would cool over night, and then we could test its effectiveness. After this week, we might volunteer to be the first test subjects.

~~~***~~~

It was mid-afternoon by the time I hiked up the hill overlooking the west bank of the lake, near the Forbidden Forest. I had spent this Saturday morning in the lab working with Severus. Professor Slughorn and the school mediwitch would have to make a final analysis, but it seemed that our improvements on the Headache Potion were successful. I needed a break. My energy levels were low and scattered. I needed balance. I needed ritual.

Taking a few deep, cleansing breaths and casting my circle, I quietly welcomed the Elemental Guardians and invoked the Goddess and God, salt and water being sprinkled to consecrate the land. I sat meditatively listening to the sounds of the earth around me, opening myself to the ebb and flow of energy. I was drifting and lay back on the grass, connecting as much as I could with the earth, my mind delightfully at ease, and my body finally coming into balance. I could sense the earthworms below me digging through the ground. I could hear the grass around me blow gently with the wind. I could feel … the trembling of running feet? No, not now! There were shouts and mocking laughter. I sat and turned towards the noise and saw three figures running after a lone boy. They were heading for the Forbidden Forest. Severus! What are they doing now? Sirius was leading the pack, like a hound chasing a rabbit. James and Peter were in tow. Severus looked toward my hill. I sensed blood, and he looked humiliated. He was hurt, and I was on my knees.

"Sacred Guardians, hear my cry.

Wind and fire, fill the sky.

Stop injustice, as he needs.

Protect the lone one, as he flees."

My hands hit the ground, and I felt it vibrate with power, like a wave heading toward the forest. As Severus reached the first layer of trees, the forest closed around him, protecting him, keeping the others out. The wind picked up and harshly pushed the tormentors back into the meadow. Lightning struck the grass, igniting a circle of flames around them. I could hear the boys yelling at Severus. They thought this was his doing. After a few moments, the forest released Severus, and he proceeded past his trapped tormentors, returning to school with one fleeting glance up the hill. Sirius, James and Peter remained trapped until they realized that they could do nothing. When they finally sat and began to relax, I allowed them to hear my voice, making them realize that the power was not from Severus.

"Gentle Guardian of the West,

Release them now, for they rest.

Pray they torment not again,

For next time I'll not ask for rain."

With that, a cloud gathered over the lake, absorbing water. It moved toward the three trapped boys and gently showered them in rain, extinguishing the flames. They looked around, confused.

"An' do as ye will, but harm ye none. This is the Law," I angrily shouted after them as they bolted out of the meadow toward the castle. They never even looked back.

I lay back down in my circle, completely drained. "Thank you, Guardians, for your protection."


	11. Last Days

**11 – Last Days**

Professor Slughorn ended our time in the lab with the success of the Headache Potion. Without our knowledge, he had taken the potion to the Department of Experimental and Medicinal Potions at the Ministry to be tested. Everyone there was pleased, and, as the works of the students are the property of the teacher, Professor Slughorn rode the accolades of our success and reaped the financial rewards. We were not happy about this, but there was nothing that we could do. The law was the law. At least, we knew that we were the creators of this, and that we, at ages fifteen and sixteen were capable of such success.

Severus and I sombrely packed up the lab, feeling that this was the end. I truly enjoyed our time together. It was like a sanctuary away from prying, judgmental eyes. Severus was so different here with me. His guard was down, he joked, and it was an easy, comfortable friendship. He never said anything about the hill, the woods, and being chased, and I never brought it up. I knew that he was embarrassed.

As he stood staring into the supply cupboard, deep in thought, I came up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist, giving him a gentle hug.

"I'm going to miss this," I said quietly to his back.

"What? Sneaking up behind me?" he responded sardonically.

"That too, but I'll miss being here with you." I placed my head against his shoulder blade, my hands slowly running up his chest.

He took a deep breath and turned, enveloping me with his body. He hugged tightly, his breath rasping against my neck. I pulled back slightly to place a kiss at a sensitive spot below his ear, and he shuddered holding me even closer, his large hands tracing my spine as mine slid up his back. As he pulled his head up, I tipped mine in response. Our noses bumped awkwardly as a tender kiss built in intensity. My tongue flicked out impulsively and caught the taste of his, and he responded with an awkward plunge into my mouth. It was inexperienced and crushing, and I was afraid that he was going to crack a rib. _Not so tight_. He loosened his grip, but didn't let go. His roaming hands found the edge of my shirt and began to pull it from my skirt. Taking his lead, I returned the favour, our hands snaking against warm skin as my hips instinctively flex toward. He responded with a hard push against me. We were losing control.

"Ahem."

The sound broke us apart abruptly.

"Sorry to interrupt." The Headmaster smiled genially from the doorway.

Severus and I, both, flushed a deep shade of crimson. What a sight! Swollen lips, untucked shirts, red faces… and the Headmaster, my grandfather, grinning before us.

"I would like to see both of you in my office," he instructed and turned to leave, but then turned back. "In a few moments will do." He waved a finger, indicating to our dishevelled state. Oh, how embarrassing.

We straightened ourselves in silence and followed the path to the Administration Tower.

~~~***~~~

"Don't worry; I'm not upset with your behaviour, although a little discretion should be exercised. I rather expected this would happen eventually." He smiled at us from the depths of his armchair by the fireplace as we stood in front of him like two errant children.

"Please. Sit down," he instructed as we were directed to the chairs opposite him. "First, I would like to congratulate you on a job well done. Professor Slughorn saw two great minds, but I do not believe that he predicted such a partnership. You have learned a valuable lesson. Not only have you learned to work together, but you have also learned to trust each other. This is important in a successful relationship. I realize that you are both young, but your potential is already evident."

We looked at each other curiously, wondering where this was going.

"There will come a time when it will be difficult to trust anyone. Decisions will have to be made, and they will not always be easy or popular, but they will be necessary. You must take courage in knowing that what you do is for the right reasons."

I was beginning to understand, but why was Severus here?

"Never lose sight of what has happened these last months. Never forget what has been built." He leaned forward. "Severus, I need to speak with Alicia alone. Thank you for coming. I'll speak with you later."

Severus rose to leave, giving me a last, fleeting glance.

When the door closed, the Headmaster continued. "You have feelings for him."

"Yes." My answer was brief.

"Serious?" he asked sombrely.

"I'm not sure. I like being with him." This was an uncomfortable topic to be discussing with a grandparent.

"There will come a time when you will need to remember these months and the bonds made. You will need them for strength." He looked at me with sad eyes, that beautiful twinkle was gone. "How does it make you feel when he's bullied or when he strikes out?"

"Angry, mostly. Sad, sometimes. He seems to have a lot of "baggage". We haven't really discussed it."

"Hmm, appropriate Muggle term, "baggage". Yes, he does. It is, in part, what makes him good at what he does, and what he will need to do." Dumbledore began to drift in thought. I waited. "I'm afraid my next bit of news may be distressing to you, under the… ah…new circumstances. I have arranged for you to continue you studies privately with some of the finest minds in the Wizard world. When school finishes you will return to Italy, collect your things, and commence your studies in Rome."

I stared at him, a myriad of emotions flooding through my mind. Home, I could go home, but I'd have to leave here, leave my new friends, leave Severus. I felt panic rise in my chest.

Dumbledore continued, "Your studies will be intense. I'm certain they will keep your mind occupied. I'm sorry this has happened at this time, but it's necessary. You have a very special collection of skills that need specific training. This is the best way to hone them."

I wanted to cry. This was too much to deal with.

After the Headmaster dismissed me, I headed to my dorm room, ignoring those I met along the way. I passed Julie in the Common Room and Trish on the stairs. Nena was coming out of the bathroom as I crawled into bed, drew the curtains and cast a Do Not Disturb Charm. Crying myself to sleep, I didn't notice Nena's concerned look and Julie coming into the room. It was only three o'clock in the afternoon.

~~~***~~~

I woke late that Saturday evening to find Nena and Julie waiting up for me. It was hard, but once everything was explained, there were hugs, and "I'm going to miss you"s. We planned to keep in touch, and they laughed when I described the scene with the Headmaster walking in on Severus and me. Julie still had trouble with the mental image, but Nena handled things better.

Word quickly spread that I would be leaving, and I walked the halls in a daze for the following week. I told Severus myself, but the story got to Remus before I could. He was not happy to find out from other people. We were on our way to History of Magic when he approached, looking hurt and angry. James and Sirius walked protectively by his side. Ignoring the bodyguards, I walked straight to Remus, angrily pushing the others out of the way when they tried to block my path, and grabbed him by the arm.

"We have to talk, now," I commanded.

"We're going to miss class," he complained irately, trying to pull away.

"It's just revision, and we're both ahead. This is more important," I said as I began to drag him down the corridor.

Sirius stood in my way, and I pushed him aside, scowling. "Don't do that again. I'm in no mood for games."

Finding an empty classroom, my Italian temper was beginning to flare.

"This has gone far enough, and there's not much time left, so I'm just going to spill it all out. I liked you. I really liked you. I wanted to be with you, and I thought you felt the same. When you kissed me in January, I thought this," I pointed back and forth between us, "was going to go somewhere, but it didn't. Yes, we spent time together, but you never even held my hand. You made no move on me. What was I supposed to think? I figured that you only wanted to be friends, and, as disappointed as I was, I was willing to go along, because I liked our friendship. I didn't want to lose it. Then, you started watching Lily, and I figured you liked her or something, even though James was with her." I took a deep breath and continued. "If you're angry because of Severus, get over it. You had your chance and didn't take it. I didn't plan for it to happen, but it did. I like being with him, too."

Remus just stood there with his hands in his pockets, examining his shoes.

I continued. "There's something that you're not telling me. There's something you're afraid of, and I want to help, but I can't if you don't let me. All the time we were together, I got the feeling that you wanted to get close but were afraid to. Am I wrong? Was I that stupid or blind or what?" I was finally winding down and sat back on the edge of a desk, arms folded across my chest. There was silence.

"Are you done?" he asked sullenly, looking up from under his fringe.

"I'm not sure. It's been bottled up for a while. I hate not being able to talk with you. It was something I really enjoyed, and, thanks to your friends, I've missed it."

"It really hurt to see you and Snape together." He shifted from foot to foot. "He can be such a git."

"So can your friends from what I've seen," I said, defensively. "The only difference is, they're more charming and manipulative and can get away with it. I'm not sure I like that."

"They do go too far sometimes, but they really are okay, most of the time. I heard what they did to Snape by the forest. They came back spooked."

"Good," I replied. "Three against one isn't right."

"No, I agree. I didn't know what they were going to do."

"Would you have tried to stop them?"

"I don't know. I never really can. Do you really like him?" he asked, puzzled.

"Yes. He's smart, and we get on really well," I sighed finally relaxing, letting my eyes wander the room. "I'm going to miss being here."

There was silence for a few minutes.

"Lily was trying to help me to ask you out. She was trying to give me some moral support. That's why I kept looking at her. I just couldn't get the words out." He looked very uncomfortable, and I stayed on my perch on the desk watching him. "I really did…do…like you, but I knew there couldn't be more."

"Why not?" I asked quietly.

"There just couldn't. Please, don't ask again," he said sadly, looking away.

I approached him hesitantly, my hand brushing his arm. "Want to go for a walk?" I invited.

"What if we get caught?"

"Then, we get caught. There's not much time left in school anyway. Come on. It's been a while," I encouraged.

"What will Snape think? I've still got another year with him," he asked uncomfortably.

"You're my friend. I've missed you. I can walk and talk with who I like." I smiled and tugged at his arm.

We left the classroom and sauntered off toward the meadow and the lake, content in the fact that our friendship was on the mend.

~~~***~~~

I couldn't resist. The night called to me. It was warm and clear, and the stars shone with a brilliance that could not compare to anything on Earth.

I usually spent the full moon ritual in the Astronomy Tower, but tonight I was pulled to "my" hill. The Headmaster had warned me not to go out, but the pull was too great. Carrying my ritual pack over my shoulder, I stealthily exited though a little used door near the dungeons. It was near curfew, and I knew that I'd be breaking it, but I didn't care.

With the ritual in progress, I was filled with the spirit and energy of the night. I let it fill me until I could resist no more. I spun and danced joining with the powers of the elements. The music was the wind in the trees, the lapping of water on the shore, and the howling of the creatures in the distance. I was one with nature and so happy.

As I whirled around, I spied a beautiful stag exiting the forest. We stopped and watched each other for a while. It hesitated, took one step forward and two back. I smiled, unmoving, not wanting to alarm it. Another howl sounded, this time closer. A bark and a yip followed, and the stag bolted back into the woods.

I decided to stay a while longer so I cast a light Warming Spell and lay back in the grass. The circle was still generating energy, and I let it flow around me.

I drifted into a dream-like state, so content until the circle was disturbed. There was something out there. My heart began to beat faster, sudden fear setting in. I looked up at the moon and realized how very late it was. I sat up, cautiously, scanning the surroundings and reaching out empathically.

_Who's there?_

A dark figure slowly crept to the edge of the circle. It was panting with exertion and sat back on its haunches. It did not cross the circle's line. Fear now gripped my very being. A werewolf. It sat watching me. A rat scuttled at its feet. In the distance, I could see the stag again, emerging from the forest with a tattered, black dog by its side. They stopped at the wooded boundary. A light breeze blew my hair across my face, and I brushed it away, looking into the werewolf's eyes. Neither of us moved. How odd that it didn't attack. For a moment, I saw a flicker of familiarity, a mournful look of pain and loneliness.

_Remus?_

It tipped its head back, howled at the sky, and then sprinted toward the Shrieking Shack. The stag and dog disappeared back into the forest, as did the rat. I sat for a few moments, trying to process what had just happened. After a stunned moment, I quickly released the circle, gathered my things, and dashed back to the safety of the school. A lycanthrope such as him had no cure. No wonder he was afraid. As I ran, I glanced over my shoulder toward the shack. No wonder he had tried to push me away.

~~~***~~~

Classes and exams were over, and the Express would be taking students home to their families tomorrow. All were taking full advantage of the glorious sunshine and the free day. Some traipsed their way into Hogsmeade for a last visit to Honeydukes or Zonko's. Some remained on the grounds playing, talking, or lounging on the vast expanse of the front lawn. I hauled my packed belongings to the Headmaster's office. I would not be on tomorrow's train. I would be leaving today, by Portkey.

Over the past few days, I had divided my time between Nena and Julie, Severus and Remus, and my grandfather, trying to squeeze the most out of what little time there was left. On this day, I wished a teary Nena and Julie a safe trip home and a wonderful vacation. I would miss them. They accepted me without quandary and made me feel welcome and at home at a time when I was feeling lost and alone.

I found Remus and his 'court' lounging under the old willow by the lake. He rose to his feet as I approached, reaching out his hands.

"So, this is it?" he said in a low voice.

"Yeah," I replied, the word catching in my throat, barely audible.

"Will you write to me?" he asked.

"Of course," I answered, not certain if I would be able to. "I'm going to miss you," I said, looking into those light grey eyes one last time.

"Me, too." He reached his strong arms around me and hugged tight. When he let go, his eyes sparkled with unshed tears as I wiped mine away with the back of my hand, unabashed.

We separated, and I bid the others "good-bye". Their parting words were simple, but I felt, sincere.

As I turned, my eyes scanned the grounds for the familiar black garb of Severus. I had searched the castle for him that morning only to be disappointed. He was nowhere to be found, and it appeared that he was, also, nowhere on the grounds. My heart sank to depths I didn't think possible. I couldn't leave without saying "good-bye" to him.

Slowly, I retraced my steps to the dungeons, the lab, the library; small glimmers of hope in those last few moments were shattered. Blindly heading toward the Headmaster's office, I had an inspiration; there was one place I hadn't looked yet. Running full steam toward the Astronomy Tower where Severus and I had our first "real" encounter, our first conversation back in February, I took the steps two at a time from sheer exhilaration. The heavy door at the top was pushed open with such force that the birds nesting in the turrets of the round platform flew from their nest. It was empty. My heart sank again, and the tears began to flow. I remained for a few minutes, remembering that time and regaining my composure. It wouldn't do to arrive in the Headmaster's office hysterical.

Gathering my wits and poise, and feeling utterly dejected, I headed for the Administration Tower. It was nearly time to leave.

~~~***~~~

The staircases were uncharacteristically co-operative as I trudged toward my grandfather's domain, and I felt the wards drop as the ornately carved door opened automatically. The spiral staircase leading to the office rotated, and I let it carry me upward. Like the outer door, the inner door also opened without a word.

_I guess I was expected_, I thought sardonically.

Entering the round room, I took in the odds and ends and curiosities that had caught my attention on that first day, but this time, I saw more than a mess. I saw years of experience, years of work, years of living. I saw my grandfather. Movement to my right drew my attention, and I launched myself at the unsuspecting figure.

"Where have you been? I'd lost hope! I couldn't leave without seeing you!" I sobbed into his shoulder as I clung to him.

Poor Severus had no idea what to do. I don't think he ever had any experience dealing with sobbing females, let alone one that had physically attached herself around his neck. I didn't see the look of confusion he gave the amused Headmaster.

"I had an errand to run," he asserted as I began to release my hold.

"I'm sorry," I sniffed. "I thought I wouldn't get to see you."

"I wouldn't let that happen," assured my grandfather. "The…errand, took a bit longer than expected, but he's here now, and it's almost time to go."

Severus and I took a moment as the Headmaster went to his desk to retrieve the Portkey.

"Write to me?" I asked.

"I'll try," he replied. Somehow, I had a feeling that we were in the same situation, uncertain of what was to come.

"Will you forget me?" I pushed a stay lock of hair from his stygian eyes.

"Never," he answered as the tips of his fingers caressed my cheek. "I got something for you," he said quietly as he handed me a clumsily wrapped package.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because, I thought you'd like it." I heard my words come back to me from months ago.

"It's not a Sour Puss, is it?" I grinned through watery eyes.

"No," he smirked as he put his hands behind his back.

I unwrapped the package to find a midnight blue notebook bound in brass coloured trim. It was beautiful.

"Something to write all those changes in. Maybe you'll create a new potion or something one day," he said quietly.

I kissed his cheek and thanked him.

"It's time, Alicia." The Headmaster pulled us back to reality. He handed me an old shopping bag. "Amelia Lestrange will meet you in Crotone. She has written several times concerned for your well being."

My parents' friend was like a second mother. She had been the one who took care of me when they were away.

My grandfather continued. "I want you both to remember this: whatever happens, trust the bonds that were made here. Trust in each other."

With that Severus was issued back to Professor Dumbledore's side. He stood straight and proud. I hugged my grandfather fondly, and then gave a last hug to Severus. As I stepped back, clutching the book to my chest, the tips of our fingers barely touching, I felt a harsh jerk behind my navel as I was spun out of the room and into a new life.


	12. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

I lay on my right side on the small cot, the springs uncomfortably poking through the musty sheets. I ached all over. My head was splitting, and the nerves in my right shoulder shot sharp pains through my upper body. I ran my tongue around my mouth, feeling two loose teeth, and tasting the coppery tang of blood. The rough fabric of the hood scraped against my swollen face. It smelled old and damp. My hands were bound behind my back, and I'd lost feeling in my right hip. I couldn't move.

In the four years since Hogwarts, I'd studied with the best minds in the Wizard world. I had become amongst the best in what I did, and it all came down to this, brought down by a four-point _Crucio_. One, I could handle, but four crumbled my shield and left me vulnerable. I'd lost track of time, but I'm sure that I'd been here for a few days.

A door opened, and I heard a low, deep chuckle as large, rough hands grasped my upper arms, and I was pulled to my feet and pushed forward. Staggering, I hit the wall, and my tormentor chuckled again, thrusting me forward once more. I stumbled, disoriented, in pain, blind, and scared to death.

The questions were always the same, "who are you?" and "what is Dumbledore up to?"

I returned to England a year ago to help my grandfather track and undermine Riddle's followers: Death Eaters. No one knew who I was or exactly what I did except for two of Dumbledore's supporters. I was simply known as "Elizabett". I provided information pertaining to Riddle's growing influence: a spy, of sorts. To everyone else, this being was known as Lord Voldemort. To me, he would always be Riddle, the man who killed my parents, the man who sought to dominate the Wizard world, and the man I must fight to stop.

My grandfather was building a force to rival Riddle's. Where Riddle was referred to as the Dark Lord, my grandfather's group was referred to as The Light. Many recognized Riddle's coercion and turned to my grandfather for help and protection. They would fight with him.

The first man I met was a portly, straw-haired Auror named Alastor Moody. Dumbledore felt that this "fire first, talk later" Auror had better know not to aim at me.

The second man I met purely by accident. Albus and I were talking at the makeshift headquarters when a young, red-haired man burst in. His wife had just had twins, and he was excitedly spreading the news. Arthur Weasley worked at the Ministry but was fiercely loyal to Albus.

These two men had become the liaisons between Albus, the Light, and me. But somehow, my position had been compromised.

"_Crucio!"_ I buckled from the pain, screaming, and falling to my knees. "Are you going to talk now?" a smooth drawl asked.

"I have nothing to say," I gasped, struggling to breathe.

"Pity. _Crucio_." The searing jolt struck again, and my lungs felt like they'd burst.

"Is that the only curse you know, or is it your favourite?" I defiantly fought through the pain struggling to remain somewhat upright.

"My favourite, actually," the drawl casually replied. I could hear the amusement in his voice.

"You can't get blood from a stone. I can't tell you what I don't know." I spat, gasping for strength.

"Oh, but it's such fun trying," the drawl dripped with arrogance before it cried again, "_Crucio_."

I finally fell backward in violent spasms, writhing on the floor, and eventually curling onto my side in a small ball. I stopped moving; my breath coming in short, pained gasps.

"Hmm," I felt a boot prod my hip. "Well, she's no use to me like this," the drawl said dismissively. "Maybe she'll be of use to you boys. She's all yours," and with that I heard the click of male boots retreat from the room, and suddenly felt like a bone being thrown to a pack on wild dogs.

There was a menacing chuckle as strong hands grasped my shoulders, and the hood was fiercely yanked from my head. I was rolled onto my back; my hands still painfully tied behind me. I tried to open my swollen eyes to catch a glimpse of my captors but couldn't keep them open for long. But, I could see, there were three of them, they were big, and they were advancing on me.

"Is she breathing?" a man with a raspy voice anxiously asked from across the room. "I want to have a go at her!"

"I can't tell," the closest voice to me grumbled as his hands ran up the inside of my legs, grabbing hold of my knickers, and roughly pulling them off. "Would it matter?" he leered.

There was laughter in the room, and I lay as still as possible, my breathing shallow. At this point, the torture had disrupted all empathic abilities so a mental battle was out of the question. _Play dead_. I thought. _It may go easier on you_.

About an hour later, I heard the door open again, and a new set of footsteps entered, static filling the air.

"What are _you_ doing here?" the deep voice above me barked.

"If you're finished with her, I'm to return her body to Dumbledore. A message, shall we say, that the Dark Lord means business," the new voice replied crisply.

"Does Malfoy know what you're doing?" a raspy voice asked from the other side of the room sounding very disappointed.

"Of course. He sent me. Do you think he wants to get his hands dirty? I'll take care of this mess." The new voice was frighteningly dark.

I felt the man above me retreat and right himself, and there was movement in the room. Shortly after, I heard grumbling as the men left, slamming the door closed behind them.

There was a pause, and a sense of someone close. I recoiled as I felt my clothing being straightened. Long, slender fingers touched my throat, checking my pulse, while a strong hand slid behind my neck, steadying it as my head was lifted. Then, I felt a vial press to my lips.

"Trust me," a smooth voice whispered. "Drink this."

I had no strength to fight as the contents of the vial were poured into my mouth. He rubbed my throat to induce me to swallow, and as my body slackened, the world slipped away.

I was secluded in a small, sterile room for several days, my body racked in pain. The broken bones and bruises were mending, but my energy, both physical and magical, were gone. I didn't know how I got there, and I couldn't move.

My grandfather's voice was frantic as he whispered in my ear. "You'll be fine. We must play out this charade. You must heal."

Suddenly, another voice choked from behind him, and my heart thudded in my chest – Grandmaman.

"Catherine made her own choices." Her voice was harsh and angry, but barely above a whisper. "But, this child was never given that opportunity, and look what it has brought about. My child and my grandchild are dead because of your cause."

"People die in battle." My grandfather's voice was soft but unemotional.

"You sacrificed your own family, Albus, your blood." I could almost picture her shaking her greying head, her heart-shaped face drawn in pain, and I wanted to get up, to reassure her, but I couldn't move. "Your cause is a righteous one, even noble, but I will hate you forever for what you have done to this family." With that, she approached and took my hand in hers, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. "Good-bye, my sweet child," she whispered, and I could feel her teardrops on my cheek.

As she left, my grandfather approached again, and a small, cold object was furtively pressed into my palm. "I'm so sorry," he whispered as others entered the room.

The voices were familiar. Five men. I knew them all: Arthur and Alastor, Remus, James and Sirius. I was lying on a board, dressed in a light shift, flowers spread around me, and I could hear them talk as the board was raised. They carried my body outside to a platform and placed me on it, and I could feel the summer breeze blow as the men backed away. There was crying, both male and female, from those that knew who I was and those that now realized that "Elizabett" was Alicia. Albus said very little, but his words were sombre and filled with sorrow. He cast the first fiery spell to ignite the platform, and others joined with their spells, saying "good-bye". The wood crackled, and the flames rose around me. I gripped Albus' object in my hand, tears flowing freely. It was getting hot, too hot, and the Protective Shield around me was suddenly gone. Within a second, I felt a familiar tug through my navel, and I, too, was gone…thus, to everyone's belief, creating a ghost.


End file.
